#also apparently these two aren’t romantically together

[catastrxblues]

might read shadow and bone just for nikolai lantsov and zoya nazyalensky

[coco-loco-nut]

007 - part two

pairing: oscar x reader

summary: maybe a soulmate isn’t the worst thing to happen to you

masterlist part one part three requests open

——————

Oscar sent you a text that night. He was a little disappointed when it took you a couple days to reply, but that was quickly made up when you sent a time and location. The mystery around you is thrilling to him.

You wait in the corner of a cafe for Oscar, sipping a flat white. Your eyes immediately find him when he walks in, locked in on him. He quickly orders and makes his way to you. Oscar barely gets in a hello before you get down to business.

“I need you to know something before anything happens. I live a very dangerous life and I don’t plan on stepping away any time soon,” you leave certain things unsaid, like the very real chances of you dying. “It’s hard for the soulmates of those in my line of work. Suddenly the danger meter means more to them, and it can disrupt their lives,” you lean forward a little, subtly emphasizing how important it is.

“I’m a Formula One driver, I am familiar with the risk of dying. I know the risks associated with being your soulmate,” Oscar says and you bite back a remark about his job still being safer than yours. You need to try and be less standoffish.

“Right. Well, I can’t say that I know how to proceed with this. I’m a bit new to the whole thing,” you are a little embarrassed.

“I am too. We can handle it together,” Oscar smiles. He wants to reach across the table to hold your hand, but he doesn’t want to push it so he sips his coffee. “Tell me more about you, all I know is that you do a really dangerous job,” Oscar prompts you.

“Bold statement coming from someone who also has a really dangerous job. I really enjoy traveling, dislike paperwork. When I’m not working, I like reading or taking small trips. Um, I have a cat who is the light of my life,” you pause as Oscar lets out a laugh. “Tell me more about you, more than what your background check tells me,” Oscar sees the playful glimmer in your eye.

“Well, I’ve been getting into cricket and basketball. When I was a kid, I went through this phase where I thought I was a car,” Oscar admits.

“I would always sneak around as a kid, acting like a spy. I guess both of our childhood fantasies worked out,” you hide your bittersweet feelings. Oscar notices but doesn’t push it.

“So I guess you would be the Holly Shiftwell to my Lightning McQueen,” Oscar tries to bring up your mood but you give him confused look.

“But they were never romantic partners?” you say, a little confused with how happy Oscar looks. He’s just happy you have seen the movies and seem to like them enough.

“Semantics. What are you doing now that you aren’t chasing down criminals in the paddock?”

“You mean your soulmate? I’m being forced to take a break from missions right now. Apparently I’ve been hogging all the action and need to help in HQ for a few months,” your distaste for the orders is clear on your face.

“You can join me at a race. If you want to,”

“Really? I don’t want to be a distraction and I don’t know anything about Formula One,” you hesitate, not wanting to impose.

“I want you there. Who better to teach you the sport than me?” Oscar reassures you.

“Well, I guess I will have to take you up on it,” you take the little leap of faith. It’s not something you would normally do. But your soulmate is worth it… right?

You and Oscar agree to a race that is around a month later, giving you time to get to know each other and for him to teach you different aspects of the sport. The month still doesn’t seem to be enough as you arrive at your first race as his soulmate.

“Hey,” Oscar pulls you into a hug as you stand at his hotel room door. He presses a kiss to your forehead before taking your bag as you walk in.

“How was media?” you ask, making yourself comfortable on the bed beside him. It’s clear that he hastily straightened up the room when he got back from free practice.

“Boring, I was counting down the minutes until you got here,” he wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you hum in response. You relax into his warmth, taking in the familiar scent that you’ve found comfort in.

“I couldn’t wait to get out of the office too,” you admit a few moments later. You left a little early to catch a flight here for the weekend.

“Still stuck on paperwork? I must admit, it’s nice not having your danger meter spike,” Oscar murmurs, a little sleepy.

“What’s on your mind?” Oscar observes your distant look when you don’t immediately reply, having learned how to read you more.

“What would you say if I left my job?” you say quietly, almost a whisper. Oscar sits up, needing to properly look at you.

“I’d be a little confused because you love it, but ultimately it’s your choice,” Oscar says, silently asking you to elaborate.

“Well, as soon as someone finds out who I am my cover is blown, putting both of us at risk. It’s a lonely life, and when it was only Boots and me that was okay, but I don’t want to be alone anymore,” you admit, not expecting to feel emotional about it.

“I’ll support you either way, but I don’t want you to quit just for me. What would you do if you left?” he asks, feeling a little guilty.

“The longer I stay in action, the more dangerous my missions will be. Most of mine before didn’t interact with targets, but things will get more dangerous from here. It’s what I’ve worked for my whole life. As for what I would do if I left…” you pause for a second, letting Oscar absorb everything. “Well, your security is seriously lacking, and as your soulmate I think I should do something about that. I was also offered a higher up position that would take me out of action for good,”

“Having my own personal security guard who is also my soulmate? That could be dangerous,” somehow you don’t think Oscar means the kind of danger that would raise your meters.

“Oscar!” Your cheeks flush as you bite back a laugh, acting scandalized. “Alright, I’m going to shower before bed,” you slide out of his arms, looking back at him, knowing what he is about to suggest. “No, you can’t join,” you laugh as he pouts. You two aren’t there yet, but he is proud at how comfortable you are around him.

Oscar leaves early in the morning for free practice, promising to meet you at the gates when you arrive for qualifying. You happily take the extra time to sleep.

Qualifying is your test run. You get a feel for the team and race environment while keeping a low profile. Arriving for the race is a different thing.

“Ready?” Oscar asks as he parks at the circuit. He looks so cozy in his hoodie, and to be fair, you woke him up half an hour before having to leave.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you nervously smile. You are never nervous, but this is different. You are dressed fashionably, but nothing that makes you stand out too much. Your dark sunglasses help hide some of your features as you walk in on Oscars arm. You both look happy as you walk in, and the media notices.

“Oscar!” Logan calls him over, you recognize the American from your initial background check.

“Hey. This is my soulmate, Y/n. Y/n, this is my best friend, Logan,” Oscar introduces both of you.

“Hi, it’s nice to actually meet you,” you hug Logan, taking him by surprise.

“Aww, you talk about me?” Logan coos at Oscar.

“You came up in her background check on me,” Oscar says causing Logan to let go of your hug.

“Weird, but I like it. We are going to be great friends, Leiter and Bond,” Logan rolls with it. He remembers the first time Oscar mentioned you and that’s enough for him.

“You are a sexier James Bond, license to kill and all,” Oscar chimes in, trying to flirt and joke at the same time.

“Oh baby, no. That is nothing like what we do,” you accidentally slip up, and Logan’s eyes widen.

“I thought you were joking. I will keep this to myself though. That’s so cool. Can we watch those movies together?” Logan quickly says, not wanting you to worry. Your initial coolness that Oscar described to him over the past month makes more sense to him now.

“We should get going, I don’t want Zak and Andrea to get mad,” Oscar says, leading both of you away.

“This is the McLaren motorhome, you are welcome to sit in the drivers lounge or in my room while I am in the meeting. Afterwards, I can introduce you to Charles and his girlfriend,” Oscar offers as you look around.

“They should have better security here,” you tut, looking at all the different ways you could easily get in.

“Don’t worry, other teams aren’t coming in and stealing our secrets,” Oscar kisses the side of your head as he leads you upstairs to his drivers room.

“I could always do some recon,” you slyly smile, anything to help him win.

“That’s okay, I don’t need that to win. I have you motivating me,” he smiles, one which falters as a man with brown curly hair comes barreling towards you.

“OSCAR! Is this her? Hi, I’m Lando,” the man, Lando, says, extending his hand.

“Y/n,” you coolly reply, defenses going up as he pulls you into a hug once you take his hand. Oscar can tell you are uncomfortable, Lando springing himself on you.

“Let me help her get settled and I will be down,” Oscar says, cueing Lando to go to the meeting without him. “You are going to look Lando up, aren’t you?” he asks with an amused smile once you are in the safety of his room.

“Yeah, get ready for all his dirty laundry to be aired,” you lightly laugh.

“I look forward to it. I need more blackmail on him. I’ll see you soon, this meeting won’t take long,” Oscar promises, leaving you alone. You spend the half hour he is away looking up his teammate and some other drivers.

“Did I do something wrong?” Lando asks Oscar on their way back to the drivers rooms.

“No, she just wasn’t expecting you. Y/n is pretty guarded around new people, it stems from her job. She will warm up to you,” Oscar replies, not wanting his teammate and soulmate to hate each other.

“Does she work for the government or something?” Lando jokes, a little too accurate.

“Or something, don’t worry about it,” Oscar says, excited to see you again. You wait at the door for Oscar.

“For a professional driver, you have a lot of traffic violations,” you tell Lando, who notices the amused glimmer in your eye and relaxes. Whatever you did during the meeting seems to have worked.

“I have the need for speed,” Lando smiles, happy that you’ve warmed up a little. “Wait, how did you-“

“Don’t worry about it, we will see you later,” Oscar cuts him off, taking you to Ferrari.

“So, Charles is your fake adoptive dad? He has a fairly clean record, I couldn’t find much on him,” you comb over what you learned in your mind.

“Oh, Max is going to love you. You both have cats and you could prep him for whoever he is meeting with,” Oscar laughs, glad that you are taking the time to know his coworkers even if it isn’t the traditional route.

“Max Verstappen? I don’t usually do hits, but I will take out his father for free if he wants,” the way you say it so casually causes Oscar to almost choke.

“I will let him know,” he says, a little unsure how one replies to that.

You are quick to befriend Charles and Alexandra, the latter offers for you to join her while watching the race. You politely decline, but promise to join another race. Oscar takes you around to some other drivers, including Max, before introducing you to more people at McLaren.

You settle into the garage as the race starts, nervous as you watch Oscar on a small screen. You are aware of cameras that are pointed at you, but you ignore them. They don’t know you, all they can do is speculate.

The race is going smoothly until lap 37. Oscar is fighting for position when you fell the sickening twinge of the meter on your arm increasing. Your eyes are glued to the screen as you listen to the team radio, feeling a pit in your stomach.

Carlos and Oscar made contact which at minimum punctured Oscar’s tires. You hear his frustration, but you are just glad that’s all it was.

“Check the front wing too,” you hear him say after confirming he’s okay. He makes it back to the garage safely due to the incident being close to pit lane, but they retire his car due to other damage. Oscar seems too calm to you as he exits the car. Even you would show more emotion in that scenario.

Oscar’s eyes meet yours and before you know it, you are on your feet walking to him. He wraps you in a hug and you gently rub his back. You hold each other for a minute, taking a moment ground each other.

“You okay?” you practically yell over the noise and he just nods, guiding you out of the garage.

“That’s not the win I wanted to give you,” Oscar sighs as you walk back to his room after he gets weighed.

“I hope I’m not bad luck,”

“Never. You are good luck, that should’ve been worse than it was,” Oscar reassures you. A small part of him is happy to be spending time with you.

“I’m sorry your race ended like that, you were driving so well,” you frown, as Oscar squeezes your hand.

“Nothing I can do now, next race is a new opportunity. I have to go do media, do you want to watch the rest in McLaren?” Oscar asks, wanting to know where to find you later.

“I’ll go to Ferrari and watch with Alexandra,” you decide, needing to have friends around here. Oscar nods, leading you to your new friend. He kisses you goodbye before you walk in.

“Hey, are you okay? Those are scary, no matter how minor,” Alexandra greets you when she notices you.

“Yeah. Osc is fine, I’m just upset for him,” you shrug. You’ve seen your partners in danger on missions, but this is a whole different ballgame.

“Grab a seat, want a coffee?” she asks, making sure you are comfortable.

“No, but maybe you can teach me better than Oscar,” you watch her face light up as she immediately dives into sharing her knowledge, explaining everything to you as it happens.

“Come and meet some of the others. Oscar will be pulled into meetings,” Alexandra says, pulling you away from Ferrari.

“Shouldn’t you be with Charles? He must be looking for you,”

“He can wait,” Alexandra waves your concern off as you galavant around the paddock.

Your great experience with the WAGs further conflicted you if you wanted to stay or leave your job. And it all came to a head when you were brought in on an emergency mission once you returned from your weekend away.

This might be your most dangerous recon mission yet. Your part is simple on paper, get in, copy the digital files, get out. It wasn’t simple in execution.

You just skimmed the files, getting crucial information that will stop the operation. Now for the hard part - getting out and getting away.

You slip out of the room, when you hear footsteps getting closer and closer. Just like the stereotype, you slide around a corner and hold your breath, praying they don’t turn your way. They are so close you can feel their body heat beside you. You focus on remaining calm, but this is the most on edge you’ve ever been. You close your eyes as you feel your stomach drop.

This is it. You can see Oscar’s face as he opens his driver room door, two agents standing outside. The agents are solemn as they deliver the news - you were captured and killed on a mission. Every word, every moment is played perfectly in your mind. And your cat, Oscar will have to take care of Boots, a constant reminder of you.

Oscar sits in his post FP2 meeting when it happens, feeling the sickening feeling of your danger meter telling him you were in danger. After it being normal for the past few days, his stomach drops at how high it is.

“I need five,” Oscar runs out like he’s about to puke. You promised in your hastily written letter that you’d try to be safe, but all you really said that you had to leave, couldn’t take your phone, and it was an emergency. He naively thought that you wouldn’t be in the field, that you were just needed on the sidelines. He wasn’t completely wrong, you helped from the side for everything but your part in the operation.

“Oscar? Hey, are you okay?” Lando asks, walking into the room where Oscar disappeared to.

“I- I don’t know,” Oscar looks at his arm, silently pleading for the meter to go down. Lando sees it and just sits beside Oscar.

“Wanna talk about it?” Lando says after a few seconds of silence.

“She left a few days ago with only a note and her cell phone behind. Got an emergency call while I was out. Poor Boots, he must miss his mom. And I know she’s not abandoning me, but I think I finally know how my mom feels about my career,” Oscar says after a minute.

“I assume she’s in the military, or like, a detective to be in danger, and that’s pretty badass of her. I know she came off as cold initially to a lot of us, except when she’s with you and some of the girls, but I can tell that she really likes you. And she seems like she holds her own,” Lando starts listing everything he likes about you from the couple interactions you had during the race day. It helps distract Oscar, calming him little by little.

You step around the corner as soon as the voices fade and come face to face with a security guard. You quickly land a few punches, knocking him out. In the moment you are grateful for your disguise and the cameras that are currently disabled thanks to your team. As you quickly exit the building, you notice another guard tailing you. You quickly get into your getaway car, turning it on and pressing the throttle. It lurches under you, making a hasty exit as they chase you.

Glances in the rear view mirror tell you that you aren’t out of the woods yet. You send a small prayer that Oscar’s talent will be enough as you speed down the street. The car just isn’t fast enough, you are being hunted and the hunter keeps creeping closer and closer. Once again you hope your luck hasn’t run out as you will the car to go just a little faster.

Lando stays seated beside Oscar, trying not to stare at the meter on his teammates arm. He watches the tears run down Oscar’s face as the meter creeps higher, higher, then drops.

[finelinevogue]

life goes on

summary - just a tiny blurb of post tour engagement talk

a/n : this contains a very brief mention of cancer, so be aware of that xx

word count : ~1k

pairing : boyfriend!harry x reader

The sun was setting just down past the mountains.

It had been a busy day and everyone was exhausted. You had all gone on a couple of yachts out to sea to dolphin watch and then come back and swam in the sea onshore.

After the end of tour, Harry had invited all of his family out to spend a month together in his gorgeous Italian house in the countryside. It was perfect for everyone, because it had endless garden land, a hot tub and a large swimming pool. It was a great house for the kids.

Harry’s family’s children were hear, and could be currently heard running around the garden with Nerf guns Uncle Harry had bought them to play with.

Currently, everyone was sat outside on the large patio area. There were bean bags, L-shaped sofas and other various comfortable chairs for people to sit on and none were spare.

“H?” Gemma asked, “Where’s Y/N?”

“Toilet I think.” Harry answered.

“When are you and Y/N getting married then, H?” Harry’s uncle, Dave, asked.

Harry laughed in shock and a few people cheered to that idea.

A lot of people were nursing beers and a few others with various cocktails they’d made for themselves. You had helped Harry set up a help-yourself bar for everyone to make whatever they wanted.

Harry himself had a Corona in hand, with a lime in the top because apparently that’s the best way you take it.

“Oh, let them be!” Anne shushed her brother up. “They’re still in their honeymoon phase.”

Anne watched as her son got all shy, blushing as he thought about how in love he was with you. Anne smiled, knowing her boy would always be happy with you by his side.

“They’ve been in that phase for six years now. The poor girl will run if he doesn’t ask soon.” Dave piped up again.

“Y/N can ask me too, y’know.” Harry suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

“We all know you’re too romantic to let Y/N do that.” Someone else piped up, to which they all agreed.

“Heyy!” Harry protested, but deep down he knew they were right.

Harry had always wanted to get to ask you the big question. Being engaged and looking forward to his own wedding has been something he has looked forward to, ever since watching his first romcom.

Harry won’t settle for giving you anything less than the perfect proposal.

“I do want to be alive to see you get married, love.” Harry’s nan, Marge, chimed in, making everyone laugh.

“You will be, nan. I promise.” Harry held up his beer in promise to his nan. “And anyways, why aren’t you all nagging at Gem - whom is also still not married.”

Harry knew exactly why.

“Don’t believe in marriage, H.” Gem said. “Plus Michal says it’s too difficult choosing a ring.”

“That is true.” Michal nodded and agreed, making Gemma laugh and cuddle closer into his side on the sofa.

Harry looked at them and then towards the house, missing you after only two minutes. He wondered where you were.

“Have you gone ring shopping yet, H?” One of Harry’s aunts, Linda, asked.

“Yes.” Harry shot his head back around to face the conversation.

“Is it going to break the bank?” Dave asked.

“Nothing could dent that boys bank, Dave.” Linda laughed.

Harry smiled along, knowing the ring safely tucked away in his suitcase was just what you had asked for. It had been a reasonable price and it’s beauty outshone everything else.

“Y/N trusts me to pick out the right ring.”

“Good lad.” Dave nodded onto Harry.

“Excuse me a minute.”

Harry put his beer down on the floor and left his family to go in search of you.

He wandered into the house and because it was very open, he was able to tell you weren’t downstairs. He shouted your name up the stairs, but no one responded.

“Babe?” He called again, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

He was getting worried now and ran up the stairs two at a time. He wandered down the hall and straight into your shared bedroom.

No one was on the bed and no one was in the bathroom.

“Y/N?” Harry shouted again, a little more sternly this time. “Where the fuck is—”

He looked in and out of all bedrooms upstairs and the bathrooms too, but no sign of you.

As Harry rushed back down the stairs and opened the front door. He was ready to shout your name again when he saw you sitting the hammock by the front garden gate alone.

He closes the front door and furrowed his eyebrows as he walked quickly over to you.

“Baby? Where have you been?” He asked, dodging in between the cars as made his way to you.

You looked up at him and smiled, but it was one that did not reach your eyes.

Harry watched as you brought a small tissue up to your noses and wipe underneath. He put together, as he moved closer towards you, that you had been crying.

“Baby…” Harry said softly, coming down to crouch in front of you.

You swallowed a lump in the back of your throat and rolled your eyes at your own emotions. Harry was nothing but patient with you, waiting for you to gather up whatever thoughts you wanted to say.

Harry stayed crouched down in front of you, hands clasping yours to stop you from picking away at the skin by your nails - a nasty habit he was constantly telling you off for.

“It’s my mum. She’s back in hospital.” You sadly smiles, watching Harry’s face drop too.

Harry let out a tut and a heavy sigh, sagging his head in sadness.

“Cancer came back. She’s been in for a month and has only just told me.” Your words started to come out in splutters towards the end of your sentence as you began to cry again. “Fuck, m’sorry.”

Harry popped his head at your apology. “No, don’t you start apologising for things that don’t need an apology. Don’t care that this is celebrating post tour. All I care about is you and seeing that smile on your face. If you haven’t got a smile today, that’s okay but we’ll work together to put one back there again.”

You nodded your head in understanding.

Harry moved to sit next to you, laying you both down on the hammock. Harry sat so his feet still touched the floor, but you moved so your whole body was on the hammock and you could tuck yourself into his side. Harry rocked the two of you slowly and rubbed his hand up and down your back, whilst you closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Harry’s heartbeat.

“We can go see her when we’re back, can’t we?” You asked.

“Of course. Why do y’ask?”

“Just checking, in case you had music plans or anything.”

“Baby. You know I’m yours now for the foreseeable future.”

“I know.”

“We can go see her every day if you want.” Harry suggested, “And also. I don’t care what you say, I’m paying for any extra treatment and care to make sure she’s as comfortable as she can be.”

“Ha—”

“No I’m not arguing with you on this, love.”

“But…”

“Yeah, your butt is lovely, I know.” You could hear his smirk as he patted your ass lightly with his hand.

That put a little smile on your face anyways.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

“It’ll be your bank account someday soon too.”

And you smiled again, knowing the prospect of an engagement was soon approaching.

[profoundlyfaded]

I’m now thinking about some romance related headcanon’s for Yaryna (MW Reaper) and Emmrich that seem locked in my skull. Yaryna is she/her but I hope anyone who romances Emmrich with another gender identity will enjoy this as well.

At her request, Emmrich calls her by her real name in private. As the Necropolis foundling, her name is the core she built herself around. Her name is important for her.

Their courtship begins after the first visit to the Memorial Gardens, but really ramps up after Wiesshaupt. They often visit many of the other gardens across the Necropolis walking side by side, sometimes with Yaryna’s arm tucked into the crook of his elbow.

Emmrich often leaves flowers in her room, hand picked bunches tied with ribbon; sometimes from the various gardens of the Necropolis, sometimes its flowers growing around the Lighthouse, or from the places they visit. After affirming their relationship, Shrouds Kiss often appears in these arrangements even if they aren’t native companions to the rest of the flowers.

Yaryna starts making Emmrich a death shroud (in my head canon this is an acceptable gift between necromancers in Navarra) as her main project which she would later gift to him when his acceptance of death improves. An ornate work, it features motifs from their adventures both during and after The Veilguard.

They share their first kiss shortly after he shows her the deeper fade. Seeking each other out as promised, their first kiss is on his balcony, slow, tender.

Neve is the first one to realise they are seeing each other; she catches the little glances, the tender but otherwise unnecessary touches, finding the pair together in the library or laughing over the stove as they make a pot of tea. [Expanded here in Waterfront Gossip]

Harding is the second one to twig, knowing something is different and it’s Neve that spells it out for her.

Davrin is the last to find out, catching them in an intimate dance; he tactfully withdraws to leave them to it but around the table thinking he’s got the news of the century, he gets shot down as the others all tell him they knew/noticed.

The first time they make love is after clearing the Blight Eruption. After catching Yaryna examine the formally dormant flowers, Emmrich knows himself to be utterly taken by this woman. He takes her back to the Necropolis for dinner, ending the night in his apartment (I imagine him having old Oxford style university digs) and he forgoes his morning stretches to stay in bed with Yaryna. More here -

While trapped in the Fade, Emmrich often returns to Yaryna’s room just to be close to her. At first searching for a way to try and communicate with her as she did with Solas. He eventually peaks at a journal she had left on a shelf, apparently bulging with notes - he discovers she’s been pressing some of the flowers he brings her and there are sketches of some of the gifts he’s given her. Her last entry stating ‘will he ever realise I’ll love him no matter what’ breaks his heart. More here -

During her time in the Fade, Emmrich buys an engagement ring, deciding that once he gets her back, he’s never letting anything part them. He proposes a few days after their victory and they marry two months later.

There, there is the brainrot.

As an aside note to the death shroud thing, I can confirm that Yaryna also makes a simpler one for Lucanis, which she sends to him without context a few years after Veilguard ends. It goes over exactly as expected.

[ruggiezz]

— PLEASE, DATE MY BROTHER : twisted wonderland

[synopsis] ortho decides to do something about idia's crush on you, taking the role of matchmaker

[extra] ortho reminds me of a minecraft torch. apparently, there’s one called soul torch that's blue? i haven’t played in a while. ALSO, I STILL HAVEN’T FINISHED BOOK 6 HELP ME I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE

-`♡´- What do you mean Idia's social anxiety, awkwardness, and his extensive knowledge of internet slang haven't captivated you yet?Come on, give Idia a chance, please.

-`♡´- Maybe it's the fact he's a robot and he can catch onto things faster than regular humans, but there can be no way you haven't connected the dots yet. Idia invites you to play video games and watch some new anime episodes in his room after classes. He's always talking about you, his hair turning slightly pink when you compliment him for anything he did, and he pays attention to every single word that comes out of your mouth. How hasn't anyone but Ortho noticed that Idia clearly likes you? He's starting to wonder if humans can be that dense or if it’s just you (not to be mean). Ortho isn't taking any of it. If his brother won't do anything to get closer to you romantically, he may as well do it himself in his stead.

-`♡´- Something about Ortho is that he's stubborn. When he decides to do something, he's motivated to do anything to achieve it. The Shroud brothers care deeply about each other; they would do anything for the other to be happy, which means Ortho won't give up. The idea of having you as part of the family makes it worth it. He can already imagine the future you and his brother could have together. Can he be something like a flower girl at your wedding? He hopes he can. But for now, he will have to focus on making you like his brother back first.

-`♡´- His first method is simple. It’s better to start with something small; that’s what his intensive research said. He starts mentioning Idia in every conversation where you're involved: talking about what he did the other day, about something funny he did, complimenting him, and flaunting all of Idia's new works. Ortho can finally use one of the 1,000 random features Idia implemented (Idia himself gets surprised when Ortho uses one because he had forgotten they were even there).

"Oh this? Big brother implemented this cool feature yesterday. My hair can now turn different colors and play music at the same time. Look, it��s like a disco ball!" And then his hair starts switching colors and playing music from Idia’s very specific music taste. He looks like that one disco tree in the Lorax movie.

This method was working, but then something happened. More specifically, Ace and Grim happened. They both got tired of this happening for a week non-stop and told him to talk about something else that wasn't his brother, which didn’t make Ortho very happy. They both went back and forth over the topic, with Ortho defending Idia and Ace getting annoyed over it. It only stopped when Crewel scolded them for talking in class.

-`♡´- Since the first one didn’t work, he had to change plans. The second method was to drag you to Ignihyde to play some games with him in his room. And surprise, Idia is there. Wow, who would have thought? He didn't invite him; he was just there. He CLEARLY didn’t know he would be there. Then final exams season started, and you had to stop coming by so you could study. Also, Idia was starting to get suspicious over what his little brother was up to and how you were always there when he got out of his room.

-`♡´- His last resort was to make the both of you have a date. A date that you both didn’t know was supposed to be a date. Asking you both to hang out with the excuse of wanting to see this new movie that came out, only for him to leave the second the two of you aren’t watching him. He’s so proud of himself too, ignoring your calls as you try to ask him where he is. He leaves you both to have quality time and talk about whatever you guys want.

-`♡´- Now that he has tried all he could do and everything that popped up in his mind, Ortho will ask you to meet him somewhere, where he will ask you how you feel about Idia. He says he will keep it a secret, and he will, but please tell him already; he’s dying to know.

If you do like Idia back, Ortho will cheer and congratulate himself silently for doing such a good job. He’s so happy all his efforts worked, and you and his brother can finally be together! He will even throw confetti (another random feature Idia doesn’t remember implementing) and rub his victory in the face of all the first years, especially Ace and Grim.

Now, if you don't like Idia back, Ortho will short-circuit. It's even worse if you already like someone else, because that makes it harder for him to change your mind. It's not like he will resent you if you don't like his older brother; you’re still his best friend and he's happy for you, but he will mourn for at least a year the fact you could have been part of his family. At the end, he understands you can't force love and that you have the right to be with whoever you want to be, so he will drop it.

Maybe the real ‘you dating Idia’ was the friends he made along the way? Or at least that's what Ortho is going to tell himself while trying to figure out how to make Idia’s heartbreak not hurt that much. Curiosity did kill the cat, huh?

[artydonsgf]

Hey love💕 could u do an arthusband! fic??

hi sweets! i’m in the process of writing husband art but i didn’t wanna keep you waiting so i wrote out a headcanon list! i also included a small nsfw portion for my own delusional giggles, enjoy~

Art Donaldson as your Husband

- when yall start dating, it’s apparent that you’re his first real girlfriend

- he’s fooled around with people before but the eagerness of his kisses and how quickly your touch sends him over the edge makes it clear it was never serious

- you like it though, it’s cute how embarrassed he gets when you stare at him and call him handsome

- amazing bf, top tier communicator

- you discover early one that art does not play about you so he really tries his best to avoid any arguments that aren’t constructive

- extremely gooey and tells you that he wants to marry you in the future like a week into your relationship

- despite how good of a communicator he is, he also gets in his head very easily

- constantly worried that he’s somehow not enough for you and you’ll find someone better

- these worries die down pretty quickly but it sits in the back of his mind sometimes

- said i love you first and he said it after 6 months

- he later told you that he knew after a month but didn’t want to scare you away

- after a year of dating, he gives you a promise ring and swears that he’ll propose to you the moment you guys graduate

- two years in, you guys move in together

- six months later and true to his word, he gives you his grandmother’s ring while you’re both still in your caps and gowns

- the wedding happens quickly since neither of you wanted something big

- your wedding day is the best day of his life, something he tells you a million times throughout the day

- he cried like a baby when you walked down the aisle

- in all of your wedding photos, he’s looking at you like you are the center of the universe

- art settles into married life with ease

- in his mind, you guys have already been married since the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend

- sharing a last name with you is the best thing ever in his mind

- sometimes he’ll call you mrs donaldson just to hear you respond to it

- laughs into his hand when you respond but you already realized what he was doing forever ago

- a true romantic

- leaves flowers and other cute trinkets at your bedside table when he comes home from traveling for games

- he’ll be dead asleep beside you but you’ll always find a small bouquet, breakfast, and a souvenir from whatever town he passed through

- constantly thinks about you

- facetime warrior, he will call you at any time just to hear your voice

- if he’s lucky and you’re able to come with him to games, he spends any spare time curled up in your arms and ask you to just speak

- loves it when you run a hand through his hair, he’ll twist himself into an uncomfortable position if it means you’ll keep scratching his head

- the annoying guy who mentions his wife at any given moment

- “ah yes, my WIFE, also enjoys hiking”

- his idea of a date is dinner and cuddling the whole night

- seems to forget that he can kiss you whenever because he always asks if he can kiss you

- needs you like he needs air, bro is insane about you

- patrick knew about you before he even met you because art spoke about the beautiful girl with the kind eyes and sweet smile for a month before he actually asked you out

- bro was yearning like crazy

- his biggest issue is his jealousy

- starts plotting murder whenever a man speaks to you for too long

- or woman, he’s equal opportunity jealous

- ofc he doesn’t have to worry because you’re always quick to flash your ring and name drop him as your husband in convos

- he’s a very good husband who loves you an insane amount and makes sure to communicate that to you 24/7

NSFW

- legit will do anything you ask of him, so he’s very into experimenting

- your pleasure > his every time

- he enjoys oral but doesn’t really ask for it since he’d prefer to give

- submissive by nature and is happy to let you take charge

- only really dominant after a particularly tough day on the courts

- aftercare KING, he’ll get you cleaned up in two seconds flat so he can keep you in his arms for the rest of the night

- very needy in bed, he wants your constant attention

- total praise kink, he can hardly breathe when you tell him he’s doing a good job

- he had to learn how to control his pace because he used to come immediately

- despite his quickness at finishing, he has insane stamina and will keep you up the whole night

- it’s always you >>> any of his obligations

- more times than you can count, you’ve had to pry him off of you because he had important things to do the next day

- loves quickies

- likes it when you pull his hair

[jisokai]

If a tree falls (does it bring you to tears?)

Early in their journey, the Strawhats come across an unusual island, where a beast has been stranded—with you.

Set right before Enies Lobby.

strawhats x GN reader, slight romantic nami x reader Life of Pi and Haruki Murakami-inspired, reader lives in a floating tree, loss of home/habitat destruction, reader is a friend to animals, queerplatonic relationship-building with everyone basically 7.7k words | oneshot, complete

ao3 option

notes: this was my first fic when i started writing again recently so it has a special place in my heart even though it's pretty rough imo <3 definitely niche so i'm mostly posting it here for archive purposes. + the timeline for this is so nonexistent, i promise it's better for everyone if you don't think about it + there's some background/implied frobin

Distance. Space. Atmosphere.

Life at sea means many days of drifting into nothingness, waiting for a figure to appear in the distance to follow. Drifting usually starts as a peaceful pause between events, crew members taking time to find their strength for the next piece of their journey. But as the days drag on, quiet stillness turns to impatient irritation. There’s an itch for chaos, a fight, change. Not seeing land for days, weeks even, unsettles them.

But no matter their skepticism, they always trust Nami. Nami who has never failed them in knowing how to bring them to where they have to be, oftentimes a destination they were not aware of.

In the blue of the vast beyond is a speck, also blue from the space that sits between said speck and the Going Merry. Nami frowns when she sees it. Normally specks have a spread to them if they’re a landform, a long but narrow shape that appears all at once. The alternative is a ship, which usually has a particular proportion between its length and width. However, this speck is tall . So tall it disappears into the clouds. And it’s narrow. It isn’t perfectly straight, a little wobbly-looking from this distance. Glancing around her workspace, Nami locates her telescope, grabs it by the base, and gently kicks the door open to make her way out to the lower deck.

“Usopp,” she calls as she walks to the stairs. Usopp looks up from his seat near Luffy and Chopper curiously. Nami cocks her head to the upper deck where she plans to set her telescope, turning and walking along. The sniper pouts at the lack of explanation, but rises with a sigh to meet her.

Still too far away to be discernible, two figures lounge together dozens of stories in the air. One nestles itself into the soft warmth of the other’s fur. The other swishes its tail in contentment. It huffs, yawns with its tongue out, then blinks and lowers its head to sleep.

“It’s a tree.”

“It can’t be a tree.”

“Well what else could it be!? Through your telescope it even looks like there’s a branch.”

“Trees can’t grow in salt water. Besides, there’s no land for it to attach to. You think it just floats around? It would topple over!”

“This is the Grand Line, Nami. In Skypiea you could swim in a cloud in the sky. What’s a floating saltwater tree compared to that?”

“Then this is a tree growing higher than the clouds, Usopp. From sea level.”

That does sound ridiculous, he can admit.

“It’s a tree,” Nami groans the next day. Overnight the ship traveled significantly closer to the speck, now a more complicated looking blob that becomes much clearer with the telescope. Through the lens she can see the edge between the tree and sky clearly. Moss and vines are apparent now, too. Odd lumps reveal themselves to be knots and welts where limbs once were. There aren’t many branches in view, the canopy likely condensed in the clouds.

Usopp snickers next to her, “and you dared question the great sniper Usopp!”

Luffy interjects while she punches Usopp in the back of the head. “What’s a big tree doin’ in the middle of the ocean? It get lost like Zoro?”

“I don’t know,” she responds softly, questioning. She thinks Robin may have ideas, but after asking for her thoughts they still don’t have adequate guesses.

“Trees have quite massive root systems. It’s possible that this one’s go deep in the water and have anchored to something below. Or maybe the distribution of weight keeps it upright. Either way I couldn’t guess how it got here.” All Nami can do is sigh in response.

Without verbalizing it, the Strawhats are in agreement that the tree is their next stop. It falls in line with the route they were already traveling, and the crew never turns down a sidequest. Especially not after nearly a week without touching land. Nami figures they could make contact in less than two days with the winds coming in.

Intense winds make the branches rustle. Smaller twigs break off and fall into the marsh below. The bird chatter dies as they nestle themselves into crevices of bark. Rodents scurry the length of the tree to find refuge in clumps of leaf and sticks. There’s a stillness hanging in the air, one thick with moisture. The sign of a storm. The two figures make their way down, finding their dwelling in the base of the tree. This is how it goes. Creatures live in one tree, but live like nomads as the microclimates change with weather and time. They read the signs. They are ready.

A storm delays their arrival by another day. Nami isn’t sure how she misread the sky patterns, but it isn’t unusual for the Grand Line. She’s frustrated but she knows her reading will improve with time.

The sunlight begins to touch the water and the clouds begin to part when the Merry gently rocks while approaching the tree. The root systems span a wide diameter, serving as the base for marsh and wetland conditions. Lush grasses and shrubs emerge on the roots above the water, while the ones below are fuzzy with algae. Minnows weave through their habitats between the root structures. Bunches of lily pads and mosses part as the Merry charges forward, scraping the woven foundation of the tree.

The vibrations are noticed by the creature sleeping at the base. It wakes, rises with a careful shift of bones, and slowly makes its way outside to scout. The other remains asleep.

Nami and Sanji are the only ones awake on board. The navigator feels a deep relief at having made it, tired from surprises from the past few days. The cook rose earlier to begin the preparation of breakfast. He meets her on the deck to confirm their arrival. He’s already fawning too much and insisting he can moor the boat for her. It irritates her but she lets him do it if it means a break from his attention for a few minutes.

She does, however, step out onto the…shore with him. She’s curious about this land—this organism that became its own land. She wonders what lives here, what kind of life blooms in such isolation. If anyone else has set foot here.

Sanji becomes a distant sound as her eyes take in the landscape, the seascape. Nami feels a sense of security at the base of such a massive presence. As she looks up, the tree extends endlessly into the sky, asserting its height and wisdom. It withstood a storm with ease, now standing calmly in the water. Still. 

A rustling sound brings her gaze back in front of her and she feels her stomach drop. All security she felt is now gone.

A lion.

A golden, massive cat is before her. It’s beautiful, with a mane that sticks up like streaks of grass. Its color is saturated, a deep gold unlike the pale yellow she associates with these beasts. It’s crouched within the overgrown vegetation. She realizes it’s stalking her. She’s alone. Sanji is less than a hundred paces away, but she can’t get herself to call out to him. Afraid it’ll trigger the lion’s instincts.

But Sanji, ever the sense for a woman in distress, turns to her after the mooring is complete. His voice dies out as he registers her panic and immediately moves on instinct. In the moment he takes a few steps her way, the lion creeps forward one. He easily closes the distance between himself and his crewmate, reaching to move towards the animal when a voice calls out.

“Hin,” it says. Firm. Meaningful.

The lion blinks, ears twitch. It rises to its full height and waves its tail, but it doesn’t break its gaze with Nami and Sanji.

They hear more footsteps. Nami takes her chances by moving her gaze from the beast and to the origin of the sound. She sees you.

You are what she least expected to see in this environment. A person, firstly. Specifically a person with a grounded presence, purposeful. Dirtier than herself, as to be expected. But stable. Sure of yourself. And unwelcoming, eyes on alert as you scan Nami and Sanji’s faces, take in the exchange occurring before you decided to intervene.

She’s not sure how to proceed, especially alone with Sanji while everyone else is sleeping on the Merry. Her instincts are alert, but less with run hide fight and more with determination to prevent Sanji from escalating things. She can sense the new tension in him after having a glance at you, gearing up her fist to punch him swiftly as soon as he begins: “Oh wow! What pleasure do I have to—”

She feels that these first moments are crucial. She hasn’t felt an intensity like this since journeying with Vivi in the deserts of Alabasta. Something about an unknown landscape holding people who are lost, looking for something. Adding to the map of their own lives. She feels that from you. Wants to participate.

She smiles nervously. “Sorry, we don’t mean any trouble. We’ve been sailing for days and saw this tree along the way. We figured it’d be a good place to reset before getting back on the water.” There’s no reaction after she pauses. She adds, “We’re just hoping to spend a night or two here, maybe find some food, explore if you’ll let us. We really don’t mean any harm.”

There’s a moment where she panics, wondering if there’s a language barrier she wasn’t prepared for. But you look like you understand her words. Still on guard, but opening to curiosity. You look towards the lion again.

“Hin,” you say, just as firm. The beast turns to you as you cock your head to the side, away from Nami. The animal turns slowly, looks back at the pair of pirates, and walks its way back to you. The exchange is not unlike the way Nami called for Usopp the other day.

After an excruciating silence you finally respond to her: “Who are you and how did you find us?”

Nami explains briefly that they’re pirates, but not the bad kind. You don’t seem to care either way, or at least until she repeats that they simply stumbled upon this tree while sailing to their next destination. It wasn’t intentional, or even on the map. She adds that they were just at Long Ring Long Land, but it makes you frown further in confusion.

It only takes a moment for you to remember the original implied request by Nami. You nod briefly, “It’s fine. You can stay for a few days.”

Nami sighs in relief, thankful to not experience your rejection or have one of their crew resort to violence to persuade you.

“But on my terms,” you add.

Nami grimaces, already imagining the way Luffy would violate every possible term you could propose. But she nods again, hopeful.

It’s not so bad, it turns out. You help them choose a better spot to moor the Merry and secure it in place with Nami while Sanji returns aboard to prepare breakfast. You’re gentle and helpful, but Nami still feels a slight intimidation. She assumes it’s at least partly from the massive predator watching her every move. While she’s curious, she avoids asking too many questions since Robin will ask them again later.

Luffy is still sleepy when he wakes and is quickly fed, which helps to keep him subdued. He does immediately fall into the water upon leaving the ship, leaning too far forward while looking at the roots in the water, and has to be surfaced by an annoyed Zoro. You show the crew around the marshy base of the tree and the small room you’ve made out of a particularly twisty bundle of roots. You then demonstrate to them how you make your way around: a system of vines and pulleys and weights that makes Zoro wince at its overcomplicated nature. Luffy bypasses this by shooting his arm towards the next branch and sweeps everyone into his other arm as he pulls himself in the air.

You then show them your gardening space by the second branch. A particularly odd twist in the tree’s trunk creates a series of small hills that drain into a pond. Lush rows of planted crops are growing, some bearing fruit or vegetables. You explain that they can have some of the fresh fruit and vegetables, but that they’ll mostly have to take preserves. But you're also willing to help them forage for other foods—the varying climates of the different branches offering a sizable variety.

Before Sanji can blurt out a nonsensical compliment and Luffy can grab a handful of whatever’s closest, you state firmly, “In exchange for my food and docking here for a few days, you will abide by these rules: you must keep your disruption to the other animals to a minimum, including killing and eating them. You also can’t damage the tree or the environments on it.”

Luffy immediately begins to pout while Sanji blabbers that he will make you the finest vegetarian cuisine in exchange for your hospitality. The others just nod in affirmation. Except for Zoro.

“You some tree guardian or somethin’?” he asks.

You huff, amused. “It’s complicated.”

It doesn’t turn out to be that complicated, just a long story that Luffy nods off to. You try to be brief, explain that you were on a research trip to study an island near your home in the South Blue. A storm came, swept you away to wake up cradled in the salty roots of the massive tree. You thought you were dead, especially after turning and making eye contact with Hin, one of the lions from the island that had been tagged for research. At the very least if you weren’t dead, you assumed you would be shortly. It was a delicate dance of asserting authority that became a sort of skeptic symbiosis. Lions are hard to read. Some days he looks at you with an intensity that registers as keep your distance , others you’ll comfort each other through a cold night. You think the mutual loss of prior kinship contributes to the unconventional relationship, but you’re still aware he could end your life at any moment he wanted. Even though he hasn’t in the past five years of opportunity.

Usopp shudders and mumbles to himself while attempting to spot said creature below, “I just don’t get why you’d keep a giant predator around. Push him in the water or something.”

Robin intervenes. “The South Blue? That must mean the tree is floating through the ocean. You’ve never touched land since arriving? I’d imagine the currents and winds would bring you to shore at some point.”

You just shake your head, having the same assumptions.

“That means you passed through the calm belt,” Nami realizes. “How would something like this get through there?”

Again you don’t know. You don't even know what the Calm Belt means. You’ve long since resigned the impossibility of things to the great mystery of the world. Plants and animals you can study, get familiar with and build knowledge (though they’re impossible in their own smaller ways). Matters of nonsensical geology and weather patterns were beyond the understanding of a single person.

You notice Zoro and Luffy are like that too. They don’t seem to mind that there are things they’ll never know. They just want to nap or swing through the branches. You notice that others in their crew see mysteries as the reason to keep going. Robin’s fascination and Nami’s confusion motivate them to take action and find answers. You notice that the rest are preoccupied with something else entirely. A sense of duty to a purpose. You notice it’s more of an alignment chart than it is a system of categories.

While you feel surrounded by great mysteries, you do know that you miss home. You resigned to never having the opportunity to return, so it was a safe longing that didn’t inspire you to take action, to take risk. You realize that while these pirates all have different means of navigating their mysteries, they’re taking a risk together. Some don’t see it as a risk as much as a necessity. You wonder how hard that decision was for them to make. You realize that you now have to make a decision of your own. There’s no rush, you have a few days to mull it over. A few days isn’t nearly enough time, but it’s a small comfort.

You help them explore the length of the tree and at night help Sanji prepare a meal at the top of the crown. He’s unfamiliar with some of the ingredients and you explain what you know of their flavors and best methods of preparation. You’re a mediocre cook, but the information is helpful regardless. Chopper asks you about your knowledge of their medicinal properties. You tell him that you can share your notes and show him how to care for them if he wants to take any with him when they leave.

Nami makes a complicated face. “You… you’re staying here?”

You think about your mom and your sister. Your dad. Close friends, other researchers. The rest of the world that exists out there. You think about Hin and all the life you’ve made intricate relationships with. 

“I don’t know,” you say.

The sun falls through the clouds while everyone eats their meal. Sanji has to prevent Luffy from grabbing stray birds that linger in the canopy after he finishes his plate. The clouds turn pink, orange, red, a twinge of purple. As the sky fades into its deep sleepy blue, you remember your third rule.

“Don’t go in the water after sunset.”

Usopp makes a “huh?” sound while Robin excitedly asks why.

“It’ll eat you alive.”

Despite Usopp’s worries, the Merry is fine the next day. He was torn between being too afraid to sleep in the boat out of fear he would also dissolve in his sleep, and wanting to be with her in case anything happened. He felt sick to his stomach watching you demonstrate a few clippings of your hair turn into nothingness. Luffy thought it was awesome and Nami thought Robin looked the happiest she’s been in over a week.

When the sun rises you share your herbal notes with Chopper and your accounts on the island with Robin. You’re embarrassed at the personal nature of some of your entries, but figure the details would be forgotten eventually after she leaves. You notice your internal monologue is assuming you’re staying again. Luffy’s new favorite activity is to swing through the tree branches in a one-sided race with the monkeys, but Zoro spends his day strength training at the bottom out of fear that Luffy will fall and drown himself. Nami explores with Sanji, attempting to create a map while the cook forages. Usopp is forced to tag along to be Nami’s buffer.

The whole day Hin is clingy, more affectionate than usual. It makes Chopper nervous that the lion is hanging around you all day, but Hin barely acknowledges him. You aren’t sure whether it’s because of the visitors or if it’s triggered by something else.

The Strawhats decide they’ll want to stay a couple more nights. Usopp thinks he can gather material to do some decent maintenance on the Merry and get her in a confident position with some time. You’re glad you get a little longer to be in their presence. You can’t help but notice that the decision is already made: that you can’t leave. But maybe a few more days will convince you otherwise. Hin still won’t leave your side.

On what the Strawhats decide is their last full day with you, an unexpected storm rages through. You show them how you wait them out at the base of the tree, a secure place with less wind and more distance from lightning. The storm is pretty average until there’s one particular strike of lightning that radiates through the entire length of the tree. Your heart drops as you feel a splintering sound resonating through your entire body. It’s paired with a short period of deafness that ends just before there’s a massive splashing sound. The base of the tree rocks, lurches upwards with your stomach and then slams back into the water. There’s the chattering of birds, howls of monkeys, buzzing of insects all moving away. In the distance.

In all your time on this floating ecosystem, you have witnessed animal migration. Some birds leave for a season, others never return. New insects appear out of the blue along with grasses and fruits and fish. The nature of a groundless entity puts it in constant range of new variables, new lives that come and go for varying lengths of time.

Never has there been a mass evacuation of life.

When you run outside the sky is still pouring. A mist simultaneously rises from the ocean and you’re immediately drenched. There is no canopy to shelter the rain. The tree has fallen. Your livelihood, all your relationships and meaning, plummeted in the ocean. It’s still afloat, a mile onwards into the mist of the sea. But it’s gone. It will never be upright again. You can tell by the way the bottom is shredded, splintered into a million pieces. You’ve never seen growth below the second branch, no watershoots to suggest the tree could embrace a new trunk. 

Even if there was a chance for survival, it wasn’t in your lifetime. It would take hundreds if not thousands of years for there to be even a fraction of the biodiversity that occupied this space seconds ago. You know the world is a cruel place. After days of resigning yourself to staying, with no temptation towards a life-long journey of returning home, you are forced to realize it is the only way forward. You immediately entertain dying here. It hurts to imagine Hin dying with you.

Your brain moves a mile a minute, contemplating sending Hin with the pirates to their next island. Let him try to rebuild his life while you die with yours.

You feel his presence beside you. It’s cold. He steps forward.

The memory of his affections is distant as you watch him. His steps hold intent, they do not waver. You call for him in your mind. Turn back. At least look back at me. You can’t stop him, can’t even call out to him, knowing that nothing will change his mind. He marches onwards. You know that you cannot follow.

The Strawhats stay another day.

You have to go with them. It’s the clear decision, has been since their arrival. You deny it, have been denying it despite it waving obviously in your face. You hate the clarity that this was inevitable. Hin’s affections replay through your mind. He knew too. He was prepared before the storm came, the moment the pirates stepped foot on your land, before they spotted your tree on their ship. Even the Strawhats knew, Nami’s confusion the first night resurfacing in your memory.

It’s unfair, so unfair. You spent five years building something, finding your niche and your way to coexist in such a rich and unique environment. Again you remember your mom, your sister. You remember the injustice you felt when you first washed up in the basket of roots in the ocean face to face with the king of the jungle.

Chopper is helping you salvage the remaining flora you can find to propagate on the ship. You have a library of seeds still mostly intact that Sanji moves to a room in the Merry for you. Robin collects your journals and works with Nami to dry out the ones that were damaged in the storm. Luffy is excited to have you aboard. Usopp comforts you poorly and Zoro doesn’t even try. You appreciate all of it, but simultaneously seethe with anger.

Nami checks in with you after doing what she can with the books.

“I can’t fight,” you admit out of nowhere. A thought that had been sitting in your throat in a way that made it hard to swallow. Until Nami appeared and it leaped without warning.

She smiles softly. “It’s okay. I wasn’t much of a fighter either. Still not compared to the others.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fight.” You did when you were little, with your peers and your family. You fight yourself these days.

“It doesn’t matter. You’ll be plenty of help no matter what.”

You look at her suspiciously and shake your head. Your eyes naturally travel down and towards the ship, the bundles of leaves from the tangerine trees and the early stages of their fruit. You speak without thinking again.

“You know if you pruned your tangerines better you could yield at least double your fruit.”

Nami smiles brightly.

You have fantasies of the tree growing back. In a few thousand years time there will be a new ecosystem flourishing. A new mixture of life will grow and fauna will migrate and emigrate in stages, cycles. It’s a beautiful, hopeful vision that keeps your heart lukewarm as you feel the coldness of abandonment.

You’re the last one on board the Merry. Before you go you take a long look at the remnants of what was once your home. The trunk split just before the curve that you made your garden, preserving the collections of your life artifacts. Over the past few days the length of the tree up to its canopy has drifted significantly into the distance. You can vaguely see it in the water, just an inch or so below the surface with small branches breaking through the surface. Of course it’s drifting in the opposite direction of where the Strawhats are going next.

When you raise your foot off the island and onto the first step of the Merry, you hear a bubbling and rippling behind you. When you turn you see the collection of roots and stump begin to sink into the ocean's depth.

A pain flares in your chest. You march towards your room, slam the door, lock it. Sob into your pillow.

Grief is funny. It’s also gut wrenching. You think it might be the only constant in your life. In the next few days on the Merry you’re too blinded by yours to see that it’s a constant in everyone else’s. The Strawhats all have their own special dance with loss, ones that make them annoying about yours. It takes a while to realize they’re offering you what they need. You try to offer it back, communicate your own preferences. Some get it better than others.

Chopper is the one you find yourself around the most. Your trades coincide and you learn from one another. You teach Chopper about what you were able to salvage and start growing on the Merry. It begins your healing process in a painful way, one that constantly reminds you of what you lost. But it helps you preserve it, transform it, share its beauty with others and make it immortal—something you never imagined. Chopper shows you his own collection of herbs and medicinals, and then the ones he’s attempting to grow on the ship. He explains his process and concerns. You suggest some maintenance strategies and offer to work with his plants to see what works best for them. He looks so happy.

It’s comforting to have an animal presence. You haven’t communicated with people in so long that you’ve forgotten how to read them. Your speech is awkward too, having written to yourself for the past few years and rarely communicated orally with words. You realize your response time is often delayed and that conversation doesn’t run smoothly. But you can understand Chopper’s behaviors, his little mannerisms and particular looks. You get the sense that it’s unsettling to him, but he appreciates it once he’s used to it. Some days when you’re working together not a single word makes its way between you two. But it’s healing. Familiar.

You find yourself on edge around Sanji. He’s an overbearing presence in your grief, one that drives him to constantly check on you and offer you comforts. It’s irritating. You sometimes think that he’s trying to catch you off guard and see you at your weakest. You aren’t sure what makes you think that, maybe because you struggle to differentiate when he’s offering you comfort or making a pass at you.

One day in the far future it’ll make sense. You’ll learn things about him that will make you want to ensure you’re there for him every moment of the day. But for now you try to recognize this as his way of showing love and care. You wonder why it has to look like this. You embrace it as best you can, offer some constructive comments so the benefits go both ways.

“If you make me my comfort foods all the time they won’t have the same effect every time I eat them.”

An unreadable expression passes through his face before he begins to apologize. You don’t let him. 

“It’s okay, I appreciate your efforts. I want to eat your food though, too.”

His face immediately flushes and he vows to serve you his finest cuisines. It’s too much, you can’t look at him when he thinks so highly of you. You look down at your meal and finish it quietly.

You’re not ready to say goodbye to the Going Merry. 

When the time comes and Luffy’s decision is made, you can’t stomach the argument, the fight that occurs outside. Robin’s gone too and you’re trying to sort out how you’ll relocate the plants, preserve the seeds and your library. Fixating on plans is how you distract yourself, trick your brain into moving forward instead of spiraling in on itself.

You want to reach out to Usopp, tell him you understand and that it’s unfair. But you don’t understand, will never feel for the Merry what Usopp does. The Merry was your last resort, and not even what you put above dying. For Usopp the Merry was a gift. A treasure offered by a childhood partner and a reflection of himself, his potential. A potential rejected by his closest friends.

As you predicted, you’re useless throughout Water 7 and Enies Lobby. You’re quick on your feet, can work out a plan pretty quickly. You’re able to diffuse some tense moments, even if your mediation feels surface level. But you can’t fight—or rather, can’t get yourself to fight. It’s okay in the end. You—your crew—win(s).

Even so, you can’t find a moment of peace. There’s another crew member—one that’s loud and a little tactless but you don’t want to judge prematurely, especially after seeing the way Robin looks at him. You can’t stomach this feeling that you overstepped, saw too much too soon in both Usopp and Robin’s lives that you were never meant to know. You have the gall to apologize, Usopp first because he’s less intimidating.

He looks at you sheepishly but brushes it off easily. “It’s bound to happen, ya know? How do you think I felt watching your whole home-tree thing and friend disappear a few days after meeting you?”

He makes a fair point, even as he rambles on about how he’s fine and that he’s too great to be held back by things like that. It takes him a second to realize his potentially offensive implications of the way you’ve dealt with your loss, but you know enough about the sniper by now to understand what he’s trying to communicate.

You tell him that you would be sad too. You briefly relate it to your own feelings as of late. You tell him that if he ever wants company that you’re there for him.

His eyes well with tears as he sputters and scoffs. He turns away from you to wipe his eyes as he tries to flip the script and offer you a shoulder to cry on. The next day he’s in your greenhouse-office and you make him a blend of herbal tea as he shares with you his favorite moments on the Merry. You believe him. You have no other choice. It offers the opportunity to learn about the people you’re cohabitating with, how they came together and what brought them here now.

You’ll cross check the validity later with Nami, but for now you believe every word Usopp says. It’s what he needs from you for his healing.

You find yourself frustrated with Robin. Every attempt you’ve made at conversation with the goal of delivering your apology gets hijacked by a slew of questions for you. You think it may be like your own tendency to organize and plan to distract yourself: Robin takes in information to preoccupy her mind. For you to apologize would be to recognize what happened to her and admit that you were a witness. At some point that exchange will assist her healing, but for now you entertain her curiosities and hope that Franky is able to reach her.

You and Nami have the opposite relationship. Something about her makes you too quick to admit your feelings, even when her questions have nothing to do with them. It’s what let your guard down when she first set foot on your island and what had you sharing your insecurities before you came aboard. You don’t feel ready to share what she always pulls out of you. You never will be. You can tell she’s trying to confront you while also giving you proper space and you can’t help but hope she somehow understands the tension within you. That you want her comfort and her ease, but acknowledging these things about yourself will force you to move forward, take a step out of the darkness that connects you with your home.

You think she may know a thing or two about that, which is even more a reason to keep your distance.

“The tangerines have been growing really well,” she tells you one day. You think she’s caught on and is trying to give you space.

“Thanks,” you mumble, burying your face in the branches as you pick a few more and place them in your basket. You feel that Nami wants to say more, but you’re too flustered to leave the foliage. She walks off after a moment and Luffy pouts from afar. Why is it okay when you pick the tangerines?

The captain walks into your greenhouse-office one morning and witnesses your vulnerability. You had a hard time sleeping, mind racing with what if’s and hypotheticals and the same narratives you’ve been running through your mind for years. Luffy catches you in the middle of a crying session, tenderly checking the leaves of the saplings you’re nursing with blurry vision.

Upon being caught you try to reign yourself back into normalcy. You wipe your eyes with embarrassment and cough to level your voice. “Hey Luffy, sorry I didn’t—”

But he smiles, wraps his arms around you seven-fold and holds you close. He’s warm, like a heated blanket, like another body in the rain to keep you safe. You choke out another sob, one you didn’t know you had in you. You realize you haven’t been held like this since before Hin walked forwards and never looked back. You wonder where he is, where that tree took him. Who was waiting for him.

Luffy just snickers, in a wholesome way. One that finds your insecurities amusing because he thinks they’re silly (not that you voiced them; he just knows). Of course the Strawhats will be your family, hold onto you until you achieve your dream and then a little longer. Even when you push and push and keep everyone at a distance unless they’re trying to keep a distance from you.

You learn that Luffy is a great void for your most absurd or intrusive thoughts. He doesn’t remember them and his reactions make them feel like they might not be worth the world to entertain.

“What if I die before I see my sister again?” You blurt one day while the two of you are sitting on the head of the Sunny. It’s a spot you like to lay to soak up the warmth of the sun, but only by yourself. Sometimes being with Luffy is like being alone.

“Huh? That’d suck,” he says nonchalantly. “But you won’t, you’re strong.”

You can’t begin to fathom why he thinks that. But he’s so confident it breaks your line of thinking. This repeats a few times throughout the day.

“Sometimes I think that Hin left so easily because I didn’t mean anything to him.”

“That’s dumb, sometimes you just have to be somewhere,” he says easily. Pauses. “Why’s he called that anyways?”

You look up from where you're sitting to glance at Luffy’s face. He’s standing next to you, staring in the distance like he has better things to worry about, such as what Sanji’s making for dinner and the like. You can see the glow of golden hour sitting on his skin and his hat.

“It means the..” you trail off. From this angle, Luffy’s hat makes a perfect halo around his head. His unruly hair sticks out like a mane. Like light diffusing from one central bright light.

“The sun.”

(You think about how the crew agreed to name this ship the Sunny. You think about how Franky put a lion on the front before he heard anything about how you joined the Strawhats.)

You lay in that same spot the next day, soaking in the sun and letting your mind wander. You try to remind yourself of the reality you’re existing within.

Footsteps come from behind you. They’re heavy, Zoro’s. You aren’t sure why he’s coming this way. He usually naps at the bottom of the staircase and trains in the lookout tower. You sit up, ready to leave if he has plans to use the space. Of everyone, Zoro is the one you’re simultaneously the most comfortable with and reserved around. He keeps to himself in a way that makes you feel like you should too. 

To your surprise, he mumbles a “sorry” when he sees you and makes to turn around and go back down the stairs.

You call out to stop him. “I can leave if you want to be here.”

“Don’t. I won’t bother you, I can nap somewhere else.”

“You should nap here if you want,” you encourage him.

He’s quiet for a moment. “Don’t wanna make you nervous.”

He thinks he scares you, you realize. He has a shimmer of reluctance in his gaze that looks out of place. Usually you’re awkward around him because his stare reminds you of the intensity of a predator. An animal with a roar that rules as king in the hierarchy of life. At first it was too much, but now it makes you realize that the beings you love are everywhere. Hin might be gone, but you have Zoro. These archetypes will repeat in your life for as long as you live. They’re different, of course, but there’s a reason you keep finding one another.

“You won’t,” you tell him confidently. “You don’t.”

Sleeping in the same space as Hin was how you grew to be confident in your trust of him and his in you.

You ask, “Can I lay here while you nap?”

He frowns at the fact that you would ask. “Of course.”

You find a middle ground with Nami. You like looking at her maps, seeing the expanse of space that exists that you’ve never set foot on. Places you may have been minutes from and never known. You like the way the paper wrinkles ever so slightly with the touch of ink on its surface. When it dries it sits mostly flat again, but there’s a slight warpage you can feel by running your fingers over the lines. You’re watching her draw one evening when she starts talking about her mom and sister. You don’t interject, just nod to yourself and give the occasional hum of affirmation that you’re listening.

You smile to yourself. “I hope I get to fight with my sister again one day.”

A knock on the door interrupts whatever Nami’s reply would have been. It’s Chopper, excited about an observation he made in the greenhouse that he wants your opinion on. You look at Nami apologetically and tell her you’ll talk more later. You want to hear more about her life in the village. She smiles sheepishly, realizing how much she rambled. Your heart pounds excitedly as Chopper grabs your hand and guides you to your office despite knowing you know how to get there. You fight the urge to scoop him in your arms.

One day while you’re napping on the Sunny’s lion, Zoro in his own slumber against one of the pieces of the mane, a slight drizzle starts to fall. It wakes you gently and just as the weather picks up into a heavier rain. You’re disoriented, but stand and close the gap of a few strides to where Zoro is still sleeping. You shake him gently, urge him to wake up.

He has the nerve to look annoyed and ask why you woke him.

“C’mon Zoro, we should nap inside. We’re gonna get sick in the rain.”

He raises an eyebrow, unbudging. You give his arm a push but he’s motionless. You give up, try to step over him and to the deck, slip a little but catch yourself on the railing.

Zoro sighs and stands. He somehow scoops you around your front and grabs the back of your knees in a one-handed bridal carry. You would protest but he’s warm and you’re still sleepy despite being somewhat damp. Zoro gets onto the deck with ease and walks down to the closest sheltered area. There he sits and places you next to him so that you lean against his shoulder for support. He falls back asleep immediately. You’re too tired to think about the familiarity and the warmth of waiting out the rain. You fall asleep quickly.

It gets easier with time despite the continuing uncertainty. It’s a constant question of what to do, how to get back home, if your family would even be there still. The crew knows you’re struggling, that you don’t know what path to follow. They’re here for you, welcoming you with open arms even as you think about leaving them. But you were never good at making decisions, always moving through life by the only option left.

The default here is to stay and follow everyone else’s journey. Luffy asks if you have a dream. You don’t. That’s never been what moves you forward.

It’s another night in a bar with the Strawhats. Not much of a drinker, you learn to assume the role of designated navigator to the Sunny while Zoro helps carry the ones who can’t walk. As you’re trying to rally everyone to head back, Luffy lets out a loud laugh and points to something on the wall.

“Hey! Looks like you finally got a bounty, hahaha!”

You look to where he’s pointing and freeze. The poster definitely has a resemblance but the person in the portrait has lighter eyes and a different haircut than you. Your noses are slightly different. You yank the paper off the wall and read your sister’s name at the bottom. Your heart is thrumming in your ears, body on fire as you stare.

Sanji takes your silence as fear that you have a bounty and drunkenly pats your back. Then he slings an arm over your shoulder and leans his weight on you for support. “It’s okay, we’ll protect you. Your portrait looks good even if it’s a little inaccurate.”

You fold the poster and shove it in your pocket, urging everyone to get moving. Before you leave the bar you do a quick scan of the room to see everyone’s face. She’s not here. You leave.

The next morning you stand by the kitchen counter as you watch Sanji prepare and serve breakfast for everyone nursing their hangovers. You watch them grumble, some of them argue despite it being so early in the day. You think fondly about how they’ve become your family when you needed it most. You recount hugs, late night conversations, tears, naps, lingering together in silence. You think about the poster in your pocket.

You didn’t sleep much last night, preoccupied with what-ifs and hypotheticals. Questions of who your sister has joined on the water, how she got there, how she’s doing. You think that you should get a bounty of your own, to show her that you’re still out there too. You imagine an unexpected run in on the open water. One where you show each other the people you’ve met and tell stories of all that’s happened while you’ve been apart. You imagine your crews working together, maybe they become one giant crew. More realistically you’ll eventually part your separate ways. But it’s the kind of parting that comes with the chance for return, a reassurance that you’re allies and there will be an again. You can say “see you later.”

You’re standing there too long. Sanji looks at you with confusion as to why you aren’t coming to eat. Luffy just shoots an arm over and pulls you between himself and Nami.

“Let’s eat!” he cheers. “Or I can eat your food if you aren’t hungry.”

You can’t hold back your smile. Luffy’s arm is still partially wrapped around your waist from where he grabbed you and you put yours around his waist to hug him back. You put your other arm around Nami and hug her too.

She yelps and her face flushes. “Wh-what’s up with you this morning?”

Luffy just giggles and hugs you harder. You love them. You beam and put your head against Luffy’s. “Nothin’. Just excited for breakfast.”

You feel like you have all the time in the world.

ok i'm finally done with my crossposting & can breathe again

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Life after NDE

Before reading, please see this post. It’s where I first explored the possibility that what we think we know about One for All is unreliable. It also ends with my own guesses about how Katsuki plays into it all. Now, with chapter 404, I can continue where it left off.

There are a lot of different tangents floating around here that I need to bring together for you, so let’s start with what came to light in this newest chapter. There’s a clear emphasis on Toshinori’s vestige form:

but did you catch the slight of hand?

How about now?

As soon as I saw the panels where Shigaraki talks about how the vestige is taking full form, I was practically shouting “OBJECTION” Ace Attorney-style, because they were a complete contradiction to how we were made to understand vestiges in chapter 304 (oh hey look, exactly 100 chapters ago!). Back then, it was suggested to us that Toshinori was special because of his quirklessness, that it allowed him to imprint upon OFA in a way that none of the other previous users could. In contrast, Shigaraki makes it seem like Toshi is no different from the rest. Like oh yeah, this is just how it works, they aren’t fully formed until they die, right? Hello?? No? I thought we were assuming the vestiges didn't have to do with actual souls, apart from Toshi? Given Shigaraki’s own brand of unreliability in his immature frame of mind, I found myself wondering: is he making an assumption, or is he letting slip a secret bit of information about OFA? Idk man, OFA wasn’t even doing this whole vestige thing until like a few months ago, so.

Either way, we can observe the change. As Toshinori’s lifeforce fades, he appears in OFA. I’m left with the simple observation that if he were truly different from the other vestiges because of his quirklessness, it would not have happened this way, since OFA doesn’t have Toshi’s own unique quirk factor to work with, but rather the other way around. You would have expected his vestige to stay the same, or possibly disappear altogether, since it was ostensibly exclusively based on the influence of a living consciousness.

That exception to the rule described in 304 never sat right with me anyway, and I’m not convinced that OFA contains mere memories of its previous users via their quirks just like AFO does. Sure, it’s nice and edgy to imagine that OFA/AFO are more similar than they are different, deep down. But poetic opposites are more interesting to me: AFO isolates by taking, while OFA connects by giving. Previous OFA users give themselves to their successors. One for All was “truly born” not when All for One tossed Yoichi a stolen consolation, but when 2nd extended his hand. There is something distinctly emotional and personal about that. Nana was right—it is kinda romantic.

Because Toshinori kept living, because Izuku has meaningful relationships, that chain of giving linked down through OFA was finally brought to light, like a circuit that’s being closed. At least, that’s how I see it. That’s pretty much what I talked about in my previous post.

Back then I also suggested that this theory of personal connection in some way explains Katsuki apparently having a vestige. Since chapter 403, where Toshinori describes his legacy as being embodied in both Izuku AND Katsuki, I was reminded of how Toshinori was gradually shown this over the course of the manga, as he came to understand Katsuki and his relationship to Izuku, how they are inseparable.

When Toshinori was inspired to pass OFA on to Izuku as he witnessed him trying to save Katsuki, he had no idea the two boys even knew each other. What he saw as a random act of selflessness was in reality a desperate manifestation of a connection that extended beyond memory, of osananajimi. With the eyes of traditional heroism, one could choose to see this as Toshinori’s fatal mistake, that he accidentally chose a successor with a “weakness” of personal attachment, but we all know that heroic isolation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. No, I think Toshinori made precisely the right choice.

This is going to seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but bear with me: you know how we still haven’t been told how the first OFA transfer happened? I feel almost silly admitting this, but I think it absolutely had to have been done instinctually, because it’s just too damn specific. As in, they didn’t know what they were doing or what it would accomplish, but they did it anyway. As in. They moved. Without thinking.

Toshinori didn’t fully consciously understand what he was seeing when Izuku ran to Katsuki, but deep within OFA, perhaps he recognized something familiar.

What if, somehow, without knowing it, Toshinori gave One for All to two people? His conviction and intent to give it was inspired by Izuku’s connection to Katuski. Yes, the transfer is inherently physical, but it also relies on mental assertion. Plus, how we think the transfer works may also be an assumption (again, the first time it happened was probably on instinct). Let me break it down even more: Toshi probably thought, as he passed OFA on, “I’m giving it to a successor who has my same balance of heroism—save to win, win to save.” But, in reality, Izuku relies on Katsuki for that balance, as his image of victory. Therefore I think I can argue that their relationship is irrevocably bound within the pact of the OFA transfer. Maybe because Katsuki’s part of OFA is based on emotional connection, once that connection is reciprocated…

…the full extent of that dual transfer is awakened.

I understand I’m making a lot of logical leaps here, but there has to be some sort of explanation for the Katsuki we see at the point of his death, talking to Toshinori’s vestige. I used to think it meant Katsuki had a vestige too. But then why are Katsuki and Toshinori alone, and without Izuku knowing? Moreover, why didn’t Katsuki materialize from the metaphysical mist around Izuku when he died, just as Toshinori did here?

Here comes the other thing I realized in 404. The simplest explanation may be that Katsuki isn’t a vestige at all, but rather he was visiting the OFA interior just as Izuku has done in his sleep or in a coma. Because he’s not a previous user, he’s a current user. The sequence of Toshinori’s NDE (near death experience) in 404, the way it manifested externally around Izuku as something Izuku was aware of, rather than internally within OFA from Toshinori’s point of view, shows me that what happened to Katsuki was different.

A lot of us have been speculating that Katsuki “has access to” OFA in some form or another for quite some time now, but I think the way the idea is suggested in 403/404 is an important distinction because it specifies the mode of connection. To me, it matters that they have two halves of a whole given to each of them, as opposed to, “the chosen one + his sidekick with a little extra OFA boost.” This puts them on equal ground, and it implies that the closer they become, the stronger One for All will be against All for One. It promises that these two idiots who have been toeing around each other and leaving things unspoken for so long will have to really face the facts of their relationship.

One last thing: you might be wondering why the other vestiges apparently haven’t picked up on what’s going on and told Izuku. Well, Yoichi may have felt it? (Where has he been?) But also, Toshinori is the only one directly involved, the only one who realizes his legacy is carried by two. Up until this point his connection to his vestige self has been limited, sort of one-way. For example, he could tell the other vestiges about his research into OFA, but in return he could only faintly pick up on things, and only while Izuku was unconscious.

The time Toshinori spent as a full vestige was brief, but I’m sure it was enough to learn some things about where the shade of himself has been. Even if I’m wrong about everything else, I bet he can give us the answers now.

[techn0cel]

My thoughts on Seung Hui Cho and Emily Hilscher

Hello everybody, I would like to start this post off by saying I’m very grateful for all the recent attention I’ve been getting on here. I don’t expect much engagement on this post but I want to share my thoughts anyways because it’s a very interesting topic. Today, I will be discussing one of the most popular and creepiest things about the Virginia Tech shooting which is Seung Hui Cho’s “obsession” with Emily Hilscher.

if you are unaware of who Emily Hilscher is, she was Cho’s second murder victim. Emily Jane Hilscher was an 18 year old freshman (born June 2nd, 1988) studying animal sciences at Virginia Tech. She was described as outgoing, friendly and imaginative by friends and family. Many people believe she was the first to die but that was debunked as she was alive for 2 hours before succumbing to her gunshot wounds. One last thing I mention before I start sharing my thoughts, Emily had a 19 year old boyfriend named Karl Thornhill, who was also a gun enthusiast just like Seung Hui Cho. Remember this because he plays a role later.

In earlier VT reports (circa April 2007), it was stated Seung Hui Cho was apparently “crazy in love” with Emily Hilscher and wanted to be in a romantic relationship with her. However, Emily had rejected him and Cho became enraged with her specifically, hence why he targeted her first. Emily’s friends deny these rumours and can’t recall her even being aware of Cho’s existence. It is still a mystery after 17 years if the two really were together or not, which could explain another motive for one of the worst school shootings of all time.

I had heard multiple interpretations of their potential relationship but I will be explaining the story that caught my eye. Reminder: everything I’m about to say aren’t facts and just how the story goes. Unfortunately, I lost the original source material a couple of years ago so a few details might be fuzzy but I’ll try to explain to the best of my abilities.

Cho (around 2006) often visited an animal shelter due to his love for animals, anti animal cruelty and potential veganism. Emily was a volunteer at this same animal shelter and over time she started to talk more with him to which he didn’t say much but listened to what she said. As the months passed by, Cho started to develop a huge crush on her and genuinely believed they were in a relationship. Cho began to stalk her and show up at her doorstep unannounced, he would send her weird messages on Facebook as well. Cho eventually found out she already had a boyfriend and was angry at Emily for “leading him on”. After this, Cho threatens her, makes sexual comments towards her and tries to isolate her from family, friends and boyfriend to which Emily cuts him off entirely. This was around the time he was planning the shooting and decided she would be the first to die for rejecting his advances. On April 16th 2007, his intent was to rape Emily first before killing her but didn’t follow through with that because of Ryan Clark interfering. He didn’t have enough time and so he just ran off after murdering Emily and Ryan. Many Virginia Tech shooting “fans” either believe Emily was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and that the rumours are bogus or that Cho did had an obsession with her. However, the stories do add up with Cho’s personality and it’s proven he had stalked women multiple times leading up to the massacre. It’s not out of character for both students to meet in an animal shelter, Emily was a kind person and would’ve felt bad for Cho since he was a loser with no friends. The only thing really stopping people from believing these rumours are Emily’s friends claiming she never talked about a “Seung Hui Cho”. Law enforcement couldn’t find any evidence to hint Emily knew Cho.

I’m in no way saying Emily’s friends are 100% lying but female victims of stalking by men are usually afraid to speak about the abuser to family and friends. She might’ve never mentioned him to her friends because Cho was clearly a mentally disturbed and dangerous man. There are many other reasons why Emily potentially could’ve stayed quite about her relationship with Cho which include fear of being judged/not believed or guilt. It also makes sense Emily’s friends DID know but didn’t want to make themselves apart of this whole thing. Being questioned in even some connection to a school shooting is terrifying, so I don’t blame them too much if they did really know and were just lying.

Cho was quite familiar with the WAJ hall area as we know, he had a previous stalking allegation from a woman that lived in that same building (November 2005). However, I need to acknowledge the other side’s arguments, Cho easily could’ve just saw Emily that morning walking to her dorm room and decided to kill her. Cho didn’t have to have a reason other than “practice”, It’s possible Cho never knew her. Something frustrating about this case is that every time you think you know something, there are a billion plot holes that can’t be explained easily. One of my mutuals told me they didn’t think Cho even knew of her existence before April 16th 07 and that it was a random attack. He was also 4 years older than her and was a senior by the time she started her first year. Virginia Tech is a massive school, having a population of over 20,000 students.

Remember when I said to keep Karl Thornhill in mind? Yeah apparently a few people who research this case believe Seung Hui Cho was aware of him as well. Karl Thornhill was briefly a suspect but was quickly ruled out as the shooter, he hasn’t made any interviews about what happened and it’s unknown what he is doing today. All we know about him is that he feels partially responsible for Emily’s murder.

“Karl’s been taking the situation very hard,” said Tori White, 19, a friend of Mr. Thornhill’s family, in an e-mail message. “He kept thinking that if he had just kept her in the car for a minute or two longer she’d still be here. I think he feels a bit responsible, though by no means is it his fault.”

The theory I personally believe, is that Cho was aware of her but she wasn’t aware of him. I believe Cho did like her but didn’t know how to express it, his previous love interests were either random girls he was stalking or completely made up in his head (Yes, I am looking at Jelly..).

Cho couldn’t take rejection and presumably wanted to have sex before he died, he hired a prostitute to dance for him but never actually had sexual intercourse with her. The woman claimed Cho was even “bored” during the session. Seung Hui Cho in general, is a very contradicting person and doesn’t make much sense even to someone who has been researching him for years at this point. We will never truly know what the hell was going on in his head and there’s such a lack of answers in the whole case. Obviously you don’t like to question people who lost a good friend, but VT university covers up so much stuff about this event that it’s hard not to. There really wasn’t much reasons for Emily to lead Cho on, considering she was in a seemingly perfect relationship with Karl. The two always cuddled on the couch watching movies on Sunday nights and were high school sweethearts.

In April 2012, this idea of Cho being obsessed with Emily was revisited in “Massacre gunman's deadly infatuation with Emily” written by The Standard. Emily apparently wrote on her MySpace page "I live, love and get booted (high, stoned or drunk) but eventually that will change... I now have a wonderful guy who is hopefully going to change all of that." somewhere before October 2006.

Liviu Librescu has been awarded for his heroism and talked a lot about outside of those weird Virginia Tech shooting forums online. However, I still believe Emily is arguably the most important victim of them all because she brings up a whole conversation of misogyny. I’m not saying Cho was 100% an incel or that was why he killed her, nor am I saying the other 31 lives didn’t matter as much because of course they do.

I think it’s important for women not to get involved with controlling, mentally ill men like Seung Hui Cho, it never ends well and your life always comes first. If you or someone you know are in an abusive relationship, male or female, please call a domestic abuse hotline. Stay safe out there everyone and thank you so much for reading!

[mazzystar24]

Okay for context look at this first and the link inside it^^^

Then this was part two here of the video

And now imma rant:

STOP THE HETERONORMATIVITY AND CONSERVATIVE ASS VIEW OF HOW FAMILIES FUNCTION

Thats point one I’m not elaborating on that one again but fr what coparent role entails differs family to family so without recognising that every single point you make abt what we should see happening is moot and a title being “reserved by Eddie” is a bullshit concept so that’s just getting ignored before I rant abt it again

But for real she’s like I think people don’t understand what coparenting is- brother in Christ the hypocrisy like coparenting plain and simple is two or more people parenting a child together regardless of romantic status

So let me ask you parenting itself? Is it about financial contribution or the shit on your list? Because

1. No it goes beyond that it’s being there for your kid it’s making decisions for your kid it’s helping them it’s childcare it’s being there for the hard stuff it’s doing annoying tasks, supporting the other parents decisions and a bunch of stuff that go beyond financial contribution or whatever

And this is stuff we’ve seen buck do such as their heart to hearts, being a safe space for him, making decisions abt where he should stay while Eddie was in the hospital, preparing food for his class, the implications of that one Eddie technophobia scene where Chris asks to go to buck and Eddie does a face implying that buck COULD agree but Eddie seeks him to back him up, and a billion other things that both @lenaboskow and @warpedpuppeteer said

Like there is also the debate of instrumental vs expressive role but that’s gonnna get me carried away in a sociology lesson but lemme explain briefly- instrumental role is monetary contribution it’s discipline it’s making the decisions for the child and family whereas expressive role is physical and emotional care of the child and their socialisation and other responsibilities

It makes sense that since buck isn’t legally a parent to Chris he leans more on the expressive role but also plenty of parents who are biological or legally parents of their kids will still take an expressive role and their partner will take an instrumental role like it’s just down to personal preference really even if it’s more common now for the roles to be split equally, because originally it was from the idea that women should be in the expressive role and men in the instrumental but for obvious reasons more people split or invert the roles nowadays but again it’s down to preference

2. THIS IS A TV SHOW not everything will be explicitly stated until it comes up

Chris hasn’t had a medical thing or an emergency or allergy thing yet so why would those things have come up as buck knowing them

Butttt it’s a safe assumption to say he does because not only are they firefighters and know the risks and how important medical history is but also because in canon Eddie pestered some poor mom with a bunch of info FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY CHRIS WAS GOING TO so you’re telling me the guy who cares for Chris constantly isn’t gonna know the necessary info???? Where is the logic

3. By that logic of oh have we seen this or have we seen that then Athena, Bobby, Michael, henren, madney and even Eddie HIMSELF are apparently not parents either cos all of them have a few things on that list that aren’t explicitly stated or even implied

4. it’s an undisputed fact that Bobby is a dad to buck or Maddie was a mom to buck or bobby a dad to may

And because I can see the “father figure vs dad” defence a mile away let’s go with most relevantly the last two points

Maddie raised buck plain and simple- she was also a teenager so did she financially contribute did she know his past doctors did she make decisions abt where he should go to school etc etc? No because raising someone goes beyond that

Bobby is May’s dad- does she call him dad regularly? No she’s done it once and it was quite late into it but she considered him a dad before that

And also he came into her life when she was older than Chris so again moot point

Does he make decisions abt her or financially contribute? No

In fact a lot of the parenting moments for him in relation to her or Harry has been similar circumstances to buck and Chris

I’m gonna shut up now but like I beg some of y’all to think before you speak because the teeny tiny boxes y’all try to shove stuff into is so weird

Like this stuff is legit canon

On a final note I wanna give a heartbreaking reminder that the decision to have buck jump back into the water eventhough it had practically no chance of survival was based on asking one of the crew (directors?) if it was their kid would they jump and they said they would without hesitation so that’s why they had buck jump in without hesitation (tehe guys I love giving you guys heartbreaking reminders🤭🤭🤭)

[trailblazethegalaxy]

9:24 AM ~ *Gepard Landau*

Summary: You're trying to train with Gepard but he can't seem to focus. Little do you know he's harboring a massive secret from you...

Pairing: Gepard Landau X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffyish Drabble

Word Count: 797

Warning: N/A

Masterlist

“And that’s six wins for me this morning.” You stated apathetically to the Silverman Captain still on the ground. “C’mon Captain. It’s like you’re not even trying.”

Gepard sighed before taking your proffered hand. “I am trying, actually.”

“That’s even scarier.” You sighed and shook your head. “You’re supposed to perry instead of thrust and dodge instead of attack. You’re getting everything mixed up! I don't understand how. You're one of the best swordsmen on the Silvermane Guards.”

“It’s not my fault.” He muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

You shook your head. “I’d tell you to go again, but we’ve been going at this for hours. Shall we take a ten minute break before trying again?”

He nodded and you saluted him, with a professional click of your boots. Gepard sighed and walked off to clear his head in some capacity. When he was out of your sight, he smacked his cheeks. He couldn't believe he was getting this sloppy in front of you. Sure, the sword wasn't his main weapon of choice, but it was as you said, he was one of the better swordsmen in the guard. He should be far better than he was acting right now. Although it really wasn't that much of a shock in hindsight. Not only were you his second-in-command, Gepard also had a massive crush on you.

Ever since you joined the Silvermane Guards, you’ve been training alongside him. Whether it be weight-lifting in the gym, going out for lunch between training sessions, or sparring, the two of you were always together. At first he thought of you as just a friend. But as time went on, his feelings for you only grew. And they grew so much, apparently, that  it caught the eye of his sister. Serval pointed out to him one time while he was getting his shield repaired that he seemed to have taken a liking to you. Though Gepard tried to deny it, since then, he couldn’t seem to focus when he was around you, no matter what the two of you were doing. 

And now, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

But what was he to do? Come right out and confess to your face? No, he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be proper. Besides, you deserved a much more romantic confession. Preferably from someone who wasn't your superior.

No, what he needed to do was nip this little crush in the bud. He had to end his attachment to you, even if it hurt his feelings in the process. He had seen too much loss and heartache in his life. He didn’t want to lose you. But sometimes you had to break a few eggs to make an omelet, or something like that…

When his ten minute break was up, Gepard returned to the training grounds. He was surprised to see you had changed into just a leather tunic and leggings instead of your armor. You were currently sharpening your sword, a light sheen of sweat on your brow. When you looked up at him and smiled, it made his heart skip a beat.

“Hi Gep.”

“Hi…" He coughed into his hand and looked away. "Um, aren’t we supposed to continue training?”

“We were.” You say slowly before sheathing your sword. “But I noticed there was something bothering you while we were training earlier. Whatever is on your mind, that's what’s messing you up. So we’re going to tackle the underlying issue until everything is all sorted out, and then we'll get back to training.”

He shook his head vigorously. “No, I don’t think we need to.”

“I think we do.”

“No, please-”

“Gep…”

“I would really rather not talk about my feelings to you!”

While your eyes widened, Gepard froze. 

He felt pale and his stomach churned with fear and embarrassment, making him want to throw up right then and there. But he luckily kept his lunch from spilling. In his mind he was screaming at himself. 

This was not happening. 

This was not happening!

THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING!

And yet, you didn’t look angry or sad about what he said to you. If anything, you looked surprised. However, he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Oh, is that all?”

“Um, pardon?" He mumbled out, completely confused. "What do you mean "is that all."?"

You shrugged. “Honestly, looking back on our interactions, it all makes sense, doesn't it? Really, I’m surprised I didn’t pick up on it sooner. Ah well, nothing to be done about the past now.”

“Y/n?”

Walking over to him, you take his face in your hands and pull him close to you. It felt like his cheeks were on fire. But he didn’t move.

“Gep?”

“Yes?”

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes, please.”

[iluvmatt]

unearthly, m.s

prologue, i beg of you, save us from this hell. synopsis: in a small suburban area of boston, a group of teenagers—matthew sturniolo and his two triplet brothers, nick and chris, and a childhood friend of theirs, y/n—travel to an old destination named granger’s deathly hill; a place in which hadn’t been visited merely since the early 1970s. atop of the old haunted hill, the group soon realize things aren’t truly as picturesque as they imagined and conclude that they are in grave danger. as they meet people along the way, they realize that the journey home may be harder than expected. knowing that they are in a situation that could ultimately ruin their lives or end them entirely, they make up a plan to make it back home safe, or better yet, alive. amongst the chaos, while trying to save each other, matt and y/n realize that there is more to them than just friendship. warnings: mentions of death with small description, and anxiety expressed in the prologue below.

rumor spread rapidly around the small suburban area in boston, of the old hill owned formerly by choi granger; who was recently found suspiciously deceased in the driveway of his residence. apparent witnesses in the weekly sunday newspaper state that there were ghosts and other such paranormal beings around the area over the weekend of the fifth of august, as they could hear sobs for help within the trees. 

granger hill was something unlike any other, as some lifelong villagers say, due to the suspicion and unpredictability of mr. granger himself. it had all started around 1965— the year that mr. granger moved in, fresh to the small area of merely six-thousand people. 

he was tall and stocky, with dark eyes that everyone he had met said that they saw the devil staring back at them when they looked directly in them. he wore old worn overalls, a black long-sleeve underneath— even in the summer heat— and gloves that none of the villagers remembered him taking off. locals said he held secrets beneath those dirt-stained gloves and that's why he never removed them out in the public eye. 

even as a child, he was someone that nobody wanted to be around, as just his presence was enough to drain someone’s soul for the next six months. maybe it was his fault, maybe it was someone else’s, or maybe, he was just made like that. maybe, he was simply made with a heart that was cold as ice, a stare that could send someone into a panic, and a personality that nobody wanted to get to know, except for his wife, that left him alone even after her death. 

that, too, was something nobody could quite understand or piece together. how did granger, one of the worst people known to this town, have a wife? how was he able to meet someone who loved hi, no matter what. nobody saw his wife much, they only knew that her hair was jet black and her cheeks had no color. 

soon after their marriage, though, she was found in the woods.

that being said, with the mysterious death of his wife and the appearance of granger as a whole, he was an unsettling topic all by his lonesome, but the property in which he lived both on and around was something indescribably horrifying. 

in the spring of seventy-three, a couple went on a romantic old-style picnic date within the woods of granger hill, and came out completely different people. after their picnic, the woman, coretta anderson, was placed into a psychiatric asylum due to uncontrollable anxiety, and her boyfriend, dylan russo, was rumored to have moved far out of town and hadn't been seen since. 

it was also rumored amongst the town that an old man in the late 1800s still haunts where he was hung in the woods, near where granger’s wife was found, as you can see his visible figure at dawn, and a little girl who was viciously killed years after the older man can still be heard singing in the distance if listened to close enough. 

months after the rumors surfaced, more than five decomposed bodies were found in the mess of the trees. nobody knows if they are the two of those who were rumored, or who they might've been. it was a closed case, and not a single person was asking questions about it. 

there were so many unanswered questions about mr. granger, his life, and his home; now put to a perpetual halt due to his death. 

the people wondered what caused the mans death, though; he was in perfectly good health and seemed to be better than he had ever been before. now, with choi granger dead and the entirety of the community together and asking why, the hill was renamed granger's deathly hill. 

now, after forty-nine years of the mystery going unsolved— four teens find themselves venturing to the troubled land, hoping for a good explanation to ease their worries.

taglist: @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life, @lostwonderwall, @lomlolivia, @sturniolomads, @kylespencersvocalcords, @stxrniqlo, @sophialimass, @loonielol, @siriusfahey, @getbillzoned, @kjd55, @ceceswritings, @dancingintheedark, @yoongoboongo, @kissesforkills, @dabwoos​, @iloveneilperry​, @im-a-matt-girl​, @zebonos​, reach out to be added!

masterlist | previous © iluvmatt, 2023.

[cheesecakeluvrs]

Hey I’m still really pissed about them

What even was this? Post season 1 I was the BIGGEST damiya shipper and I still consider myself one but I just don’t know why they aren’t together. I don’t typically ship ships that aren’t canon, I prefer canon ones because I typically use a lot of… evidence to back up my ships and that usually comes with ones that are actually canon. So in season 1 I started shipping them and was confident that they would be together season 2 because I’m not used to having my ships not be canon. To me they just made sense and then it didn’t make sense. I like understanding so I was sad :(

Firstly, their opposite introduction dynamic. Priya is a Total Drama fanatic, not necessarily by her own volition but none the less, she knows everything about the show and has been training for it her whole entire life. Damien on the other hand had never heard about Survivor and only auditioned because his friends told him to (kinda reminded me of Earl Cole from survivor if I’m remembering that season correctly). Completely opposite people. Ohhh I love opposite dynamics, but apparently they don’t.

Secondly, they have two moments hinting at romance. Number one is when Damien is giving out his “vote me” pins and in doing so he compliments Priya and she gets very flustered. Number two is when Priya calls him the “love of her life” which she says she just always wanted to say to someone. Obviously nothing crazy but it’s like why add those in there.

Thirdly, just their overall positive relationship. They remain pretty good friends throughout both seasons and during the whole Caleb drama Damien was one of Priya’s biggest supporters. He was also picked to be her helper in the finale of season one and I thought this was hinting at something because they were both very happy to be with each other and Damien also tries to ground her a bit in her current fury. Yeah yeah all this stuff could be considered platonic… and I guess it’s supposed to be… but it also makes complete sense for setting up a romantic relationship.

Priya and Caleb came out of nowhere and I’m pissed. You had a perfect man right there and he was just thrown to the side for some stupid storyline. RIP Damiya

[dearweirdme]

Would you mind if I genuinely ask something?

Why are Tae and Jimin considered as soulmates? Can anyone tell me some concrete examples with an explanation what does the word of soulmate means to you or anyone who sees them as soulmates? Because to my understanding of "soulmate", they really aren’t and it is OK. They have completely different characters, different friend circles both inside and outside of bts, different world views, different styles etc etc.

I have been following them since 2017, Tae and Yoongi as my biases. I appreciate all of them and their different personalities. As far as I have observed so far, I can say that there seems to be closer bandmates than Vmin. Tae is closer to JK and Hobi. Jimin is also closer to Hobi and Yoongi. I can remember many instances where i can see those are have closer bonds, like casually mentioning each other or know random details about each other lives etc. It is just apparent that they spend time together, you know? Because for example, I believe that my two biases Tae and Yoongi, are not that close either (and that is ok too. That doesn’t mean that I cannot appreciate their bond which I find very honest and touching.) but I think even Yoongi has a better understanding of Tae than Jimin in some aspects. Same with… say… Hobi and Jimin… they were roommates for years, Jimin literally worships Hobi, yet they are not the soulmates. Why? Just because vmin are the same age? Is that it? I am genuinely confused for years😅

Of course vmin love each other deeply, they know each other very well because they spend 10+ years in the same band, they went through a lot together so there is a bond which will not broken for life and that should be more than enough to appreciate their relationship. It should be enough, imo. But when one say "oh they are soulmates!", it is just not it. Sorry if this might sound harsh (that is really not my intention) but I think this soulmate thing is one of the army’s myths which starts to be harmful. Because it is unfair to both of them to expect something from them which isn’t there. Because when they do or say smt that doesn’t fit in that narrative, both get so much unfair criticism which simply wouldn’t happen if we can just let that soulmate thing go.

Hi anon!

I think this is a question only Tae and Jm can actually answer, but let me take a shot. I did use to struggle with this myself at one point, for the same reasons as you.

So, to my knowledge.. (and I wasn’t in fandom at the time, so this is stuff I read and it can be false.. this fandom is madness) Tae and Jm themselves answered they are soulmates at a fansign (a fan had them pick options to describe their friendship or something). They ofcourse sing about it in Friends, and I think have mentioned it more often. I think they have consistently talked about their friendship in a way that shows how important they are to each other. I understand that some see the fanservice value of this, but I think it’s very possible that they actually do feel this way about each other. I think bonds between BTS members are real and strong, I don’t think they lie about those.. I don’t think there’s a need to embellish Tae and Jm’s relationship with the title of soulmate, best friends would have sufficed to get the message across I think.

It does all depend on what you feel the definition of soulmate is. There is not really one definition to be found though. A search on google will rather give you several definitions and there are certainly those that I feel would fit Jm and Tae. In truth, to understand why Tae and Jm have mentioned being soulmates, you’d have to know their definition of the word.. or at least the most common use of the word in South Korea. It’s very possible to have more than one soulmate, it’s certainly special.. but you can for instance feel that someone is your romantic soulmate, and for someone else to be a platonic soulmate.

What I have found as some sort of common descriptive though.. is that soulmates are those who feel like there’s an automatic mutual understanding and support. A feeling of belonging perhaps, or of acceptance and safety. I do feel Tae and Jm have that. I think they know the other will always be there for them, no matter how often or how little they talk or meet. Them hugging at Jin’s release to me was very significant of how much they mean to each other.

Having said that, I agree that Tae seems closer to at least Jk. And I feel strongly that Jm’s bond is stronger to both Hobi and Yoongi. But I think if you let go of the idea that soulmates have to be closest, I think those things are all able to exist at the same time. I think when we talk about Jm and Tae being soulmates, it’s about the trust and understanding they have in/of each other due to having walked the same path, due to being same age (which allowed them to be more frank), and due to having witnessed what the other went through and understanding why they are who they are.

This is something that is debated about a lot I think. I have seen the topic come around several times already. I can see how some think it’s a construct. I mean, it is showbiz.. things are embellished a lot. I definitely think BH used it to their benefit, as they do with many things. But I think Tae and Jm’s strong friendship is undeniable, so the possibility of them actually seeing themselves as soulmates certainly is there imo.

[empyrangel]

It really frustrates me how the found family trope has affected fiction and fandom.

Because of experiences I’ve had, I’m no longer capable of feeling familial love. I have an uneasy relationship with familial affection and family as a concept. These experiences give me a different perspective on familial love then most people. I don’t understand why people insist on forcing it into character dynamics or in place of platonic feelings.

Platonic love and feelings often get erased by fandom’s obsession with romance, but something I’ve never seen anyone else talk about is how it doesn’t stop there. Every group of fictional friends is called a found family. If two people who are close interact with one another and aren’t shipped together then apparently they’re siblings now. If an adult cares for a child/ younger character or gives them advice or is close with them at all then they’re automatically “parental figures.” It’s always “you’re not my best friend, you’re family now.” I’m sick of it. Family isn’t all its cracked up to be. This insistence in both fanon and canon fiction that family is always good and should be held above all and and everyone needs a family whether biological or honorary is almost as annoying as the insistence that everyone needs romance.

Why can’t people be friends? I’d kill for a group of people to just be friends with and feel platonic love for because to me that’s better than any family I could have or find. It’s like people think there’s a hierarchy, that platonic feelings are meant to be temporary. That if people form a close enough bond they become “more” than friends and are either romantically involved or become family.

Platonic relationships and feelings are not lesser than romantic or familial ones. They are not less important, less genuine, less impactful, less personal, or anything else inferior to romance and family.

I’m tired of them being erased. I understand that the desire to push the narrative of characters being family often comes from the de-stigmatization of adoption and fostering, of doing away with the nuclear and “traditional” family structures. It comes from people embracing that family is not something you’re stuck with by chance, but can be something you choose. It comes from queer people pushed from their biological families and finding solace in a community or group of people who finally accept them and become a real family to them. And I’m not demeaning or trivializing any of that, I just think that they can and should co exist with with platonic relationships and the idea that family isn’t the end all be all of relationships.

I’m also aware that the association of close non-romantic relationships with family predates the found family trope and fandom, but I’ve noticed that it’s become more of a problem as the trope grew in popularity.

I used to be a big fan of the found family trope because I thought I could make up for my past experiences and feelings about family by seeing people having positive relationships with family and choosing the people they consider family to them. Turns out what I was looking for had nothing to do with family at all.

[whoistartaglia]

the fake date for chocolate cake.

your local cafe is having a valentine’s day promotion! all couples get a free slice of chocolate cake. you’re determined to take advantage of this discount, even if you have to ask a random stranger—what is his name again? zhongli?—to help you.

you survey the bustling cafe: the workers running around, delievering and taking orders, the several couples starting valentine’s day off with a oh-so romantic coffee date together, the man sitting alone at a table in the back—perfect. you go over to him like you’ve known him your entire life, even though you don’t know a thing about him, not even his name. when you sit down infront of him, he doesn’t object, just looks mildly surprised. you take that as a good sign.

“hi, so, my name is [name], and i know this is totally random and out of the blue,” you say, hating each word. “but i really need to you to pretend to be my boyfriend.” your eyes dart from the man’s increasing confused back, around the cafe, to his face, and back again.

“why?” he asks. “are you in trouble?” he follows your gaze to the front counter. there doesn’t look to be anyone particularly threatening, only the staff members who most definitely did not want to come in on their valentine’s day.

“what? oh, no,” you reply quickly, looking back to him. “that’s not it, actually, it’s because—“ you stop quickly once the waitress—who a second ago was at the opposite side of the cafe, delievering coffees and pastries alike—is now standing next to your table.

“welcome to the cafe,” she says. she smiles at you and at—well, you don’t know the man’s name yet. he still looks confused. you don’t blame him, though you wish he didn’t, because now the poor waitress looks confused. she continues, “did you order anything yet?”

“no we were just waiting to…to…“

“to look over the menu,” the man across from you says. you shoot him a grateful look.

“yeah, just… look everything over,” you say. “but i think we’re ready to order now.” you both tell her your orders—a small matcha latte for you, a fancy coffee drink you can’t quite pronouce for him.

“i’ll put them in for you,” the waitress says. “oh also, since today’s valentine’s day, we have our famous chocolate cake free for couples who order two coffees, should i put that in for you two as well?”

you give the waitress a large smile. “yes, that sounds great. thank you.” once she leaves, you reluctantly turn back to the man. thankfully he doesn’t appear angry, rather, he looks slightly impressed—if only by your sheer audacity.

“so that’s why you wanted me to pretend to be your boyfriend,” he says thoughtfully.

“shh!” you ask, looking around. “if they find out we aren’t actually dating, they’ll revoke the discount.”

“and you couldn’t just pay for the cake because…?”

“it’s twenty dollars for one slice,” you respond hotly. “i’m not paying that—especially when coffee’s five dollars a cup, plus extra.“

“you couldn’t have just bought one from the grocery store?”

“it’s not the same,” you insist. “the cake is really good here and besides, they’re the ones running this stupid valentine’s day promotion—why shouldn’t i take advantage of that?”

“because you’re not actually my—“ he cuts off when the waitress returns with your large plate of chocolate cake.

“here we are,” she says, putting it down. “the drinks will be ready shortly. i just need a name for both of them.”

“sure,” you say. “[name] and… umm…”

the waitress stares at you expectantly. when no name comes, she asks, “you don’t know his name?”

“of course i do,” you say, drumming your fingers on the table. they move as fast as your heart.

“and it is…?”

“it’s…” why didn’t you ask him his name? what were you thinking?

“you can’t tell me,” the waitress concludes. “are you two even a couple?”

“it’s zhongli,” the man—this zhongli, apparently—answers for you. you give him another grateful look and smile, both of which you use to conceal your surprise when when he takes your hand in his own. he continues, still while looking at you, “and yes, as you can clearly see, we are a couple.”

“okay… sure. no problem.” the waitress still looks unconvinced, but leaves without another word all the same. you move to pull away once she’s disappeared, but zhongli holde on.

“just a second longer—she still has to deliever that table’s cake.” you look behind you to where an elderly couple sits. the old lady winks at you, and you have to wonder how much you’re blushing.

a few seconds of later, your names are called and zhongli leaves to get your drinks.

“there,” he says, setting it infront of you. you take a long sip of it, replaying the past fifteen minutes in your head. on one hand, your plan worked. on the other, you kind of felt bad about duping the waitress and asking this random stranger to go to bat for you.

you felt a little less guilty when you tasted the cake—perfectly chocolate and without being too sickeningly-sweet.

“you’re right, my dear [name],” zhongli says, taking another forkful of the cake. “that is worth pretending to be a couple.”

you blush, a combination of embarassment and him having called your “my dear.”

“i can’t believe we got away with that.”

“barely,” zhongli corrects you.

“yeah, barely,” you agree. you set down your fork. “thank you… zhongli.” you say, testing out the name. you quite like how it sounds on your tongue. you also liked how it sounded earlier, next to yours.

“the plan was kind of dumb and we almost got caught, and i’m going to feel so bad if you actually have a partner, but thank you.” as a joke, you add, “and if you want to do the same next year—“

“i don’t,” zhongli says.

“oh.” you look down, and try not to feel disappointment. of course he wouldn’t want to do this again next year, despite how he felt about the cake. “sorry. i didn’t mean—“

“i mean,” he interrupts. “i don’t have a partner. so you don’t need to feel too bad.”

“oh, that’s… good.”

he looks at your carefully before continuing, “i would actually like to do this again next year… and maybe then we won’t have to pretend to be a couple?”

at your expression, zhongli laughs and leans back in his seat. you force yourself to close your mouth and lower your eyebrows. what did he just say?

“i’m just kidding—sort of. at least you know how i felt when you proposed your plan to me,” zhongli explains. your cheeks run red hot with embarassment. you’re blushing even harder than before, if that’s even possible. “but after today, i would actually like to get to know you better. you’re very interesting, [name].”

are you dreaming? you have to be dreaming. if you just heard zhongli correctly, then not only did your plan get you chocolate cake, but maybe also a boyfriend. a good-looking, chocolate-cake-loving, polite and intelligent one at that. zhongli watches patiently as you take it all in.

“i would like that too,” you tell him at last. you steal the last piece of cake and ignore zhongli’s protests as you pop it in your mouth. you still can’t quite believe what just happened, but you do know thing:

it truly is your best valentine’s day yet.